Here I sit....again.

[foolofatuk]

OK~~to make a loooonng story short, I have overcome 3 back surgeries, have issues in my neck that still need taken care of, + I have to "re-do" my 2 level fusion since it only fused @ 50%. Back at the height of my addiction I was taking approx 360mg of Oxy per day...then on to the patch. I left the area I lived in, moved back home to get away from my addictions/abusive ex-hubby and CT'd myself off 75 mcg of Fent. That, people, took 6 weeks of non-stop puking, diarhhea, insomnia, aches, pains...it was the worst time of my life. That was in Aug of 2006. Present day June 2010, I have had 2 more babies (they are the LOVES of my life!!) however the last child was so big, my spine really got worked over. So now...I'm in a completely different area of the country...and back on f-n painkillers. Hydrocodone 10/325 at a rate of 1 1/2 every 4 hours--so 9 a day and I still find myself taking more!!! Why would I do this to myself after what happened in 06? I am so mad at myself...I used to wake up last summer and thank GOD I didn't have to take a pill to feel better (be in WD when I woke up). So,,,,,here I sit....again. I took the last of my pills on last Saturday....Sunday nothing, Monday I got 2 5mg's from a relative then Monday night my dentist gave me 12 7.5 mg's since I am having a tooth pulled..yeah, you can guess I went through those by Tuesday night...so today is Wednesday and I had 3 tramadol from a previous script left over so I took those this AM and so far I'm not feeling too bad. By taking the 7.5's did I only push the WD further?? Or can I expect to maybe feel a little better tomorrow??? I only have a few Benedryl left and hubby has some Temazepam for sleeping...what will tonight, tomorrow and tomorrow night bring?? By Friday afternoon I will have my script again and the plan is to maybe start with 5 or 6 and then taper down...I really do need these for my back....but don't want to be taking 90MG a day?? Can I realistically expect to be able to keep my hanRAB out of the bottle?? Hubby has tried carrying them around, but I get such a rush from "sneaking" a few, the same damn thing happens....maybe buy a safe and give him the key??? Please help...am I going to be miserable the next couple days??

 

[Wendy88]

hi!
i really feel for you. i use percocets... and have been clean for close to two weeks and it has been HARD. i suffer from migraines and DDD (degenerative disk disease)... i actually need the percs for my head and back... as my \ headaches dont respond to many other meRAB. but whenever i get my scripts, i blow thru 150 10/325 percs in 2 weeks or less. i have no scripts now, which is good for me.
i have recently moved to another part of the country and have no doctors here yet, but will. and i worry about what you are worrying about. what will i do when i have to go see a new Dr and need a new script? it's a very difficult decision. i guess it boils down to potential addiction or quality of life... or that's what i am thinking.... i DO need them.. but can i trust myself to follow the script.....
i dont have an answer for you really. i just wanted you to know u aren't alone.
stay strong over the next few days! it does get better.

 

[camaroman]

You are not alone what helps me is to keep in mind what all the tylanol is doing to my liver that helps me to stay on track.

 

[Cburger]

Do whatever it takes to keep the pills away from yourself. I've read about people on this forum who have given their pills to good frienRAB and have them dole them out on a set schedule. Do what works for you. Especially, do it for your family!!

 

[Cowpin8]

I have been on and off Painkillers for about 2-3 years now. Numerous surgeries but that is not the point. I recently stopped morphine type painkillers because it was killing even at only 2 per day! I now take Percocet and find myself using more and more each day. I am afraid of the withdrawals. I take about 10 per day. I am going to try to wean myself off of them myself. If I cannot do it, I am going to check myself in a facility near my home that just opened up for people with problems with painkillers. It is a weekend 3 day stay for working people and it costs a LOT of money but they say they will get you through the withdrawals. Why dont you see if you have this near you?
Good Luck!