Help with me poem ja =] ?

  • Thread starter Thread starter ~Jesse Raymond~
  • Start date Start date
J

~Jesse Raymond~

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My love for you
Is like a sapling
Beautiful and
Yet so fragile
Everything you do
Only nurtures my attraction
From the way you laugh
To the way you look at me
I can only hope
That you never let it wilt away

Any feedback on how to improve it is welcome =]
 
it would reaqd better if you got rid of a word here or there
poems dont have to have good grammar they just have to read smoothly and get across the message u intend

how about this

My love for you
Is like a sapling
Beautiful through
Yet so fragile
Everything you do
nurtures my attraction
the way you laugh
To the way you look at me
I only hope
you never let it wilt away

its only my opinion
but i have written many poems
and have spoken to many writters of famous songs
 
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