(Apologizing in advance for bad spelling and grammar, im just going to try to get it all out)
This thought always is always on the back burner for me. I know for sure im at least bi. I just dont know where to begin. When i was little I never understood girls having on crushes on guys it just didnt feel right to me. Ive always looked at girls and checked them out but just dont really feel sexually attracted to guys bodys very much. If you were to ask me what i like about a guys body i wouldnt really know what to tell you, im just not sure if that is natural. When i hear a girl make a comment about a guy i just dont feel i relate, like making comments about them with their shirt off i just dont get it. Also, my first sexual experience was with a girl. I had been drinking and we were at a party and it was my first time making out and she fingured me. I remeber i loved the way her tongue felt and it felt so right and smooth and we seemed to fit together like a puzzle. Now im just not sure if it was just because she was a good kisser or if i was drunk. The 2 guys ive made out with it just didnt feel right, their tongues felt gross and slobery to me. Im with this guy right now and i lost my virginity to him about a week ago. Its just strange because it felt right and up until today the thoughts have poped up in my head that maybe i am only into girls not both. This potentially could be a messy situation because we have told eachother that we love one another. And its strange because i do love so many things about him and i care very much for him. It just scares me because the physical part of the relationship really doesnt make me feel like i should. I sucked his dick and im not sure how that is supposed to be for a girl but i felt like gaging. He is adorable and I felt great being able to pleasure him. Also im not sure if its just because its been my first couple times having sex that its something to practice and get better at and supposed to be awkward for awhile. Also i feel i should mention my first relatioinship with a guy was one who turned out being gay. Getting into the relationship i knew he was bi and twords the end it had become more and more obvious to me to was completely gay. Now this is leaving me just so uncertain. I really do want to be with the guy im with now. I love the way his eyes light up i love his messy hair and i love then way he hunches over when he gets upset and thinking. Its so adorable the ways his underwear sticks up out of his pants like a grandpa. Its so cute that he wears clothes that are a little small on him. haha. Im scared because the sexual aspect of the relationship doesnt feel like i believe it has to be? I dont know if that is something that comes with time or if its because im young and this is new to me? Any sort of input would be great. Thanks for whoever went out of their way to read this and respond it really means alot.
This thought always is always on the back burner for me. I know for sure im at least bi. I just dont know where to begin. When i was little I never understood girls having on crushes on guys it just didnt feel right to me. Ive always looked at girls and checked them out but just dont really feel sexually attracted to guys bodys very much. If you were to ask me what i like about a guys body i wouldnt really know what to tell you, im just not sure if that is natural. When i hear a girl make a comment about a guy i just dont feel i relate, like making comments about them with their shirt off i just dont get it. Also, my first sexual experience was with a girl. I had been drinking and we were at a party and it was my first time making out and she fingured me. I remeber i loved the way her tongue felt and it felt so right and smooth and we seemed to fit together like a puzzle. Now im just not sure if it was just because she was a good kisser or if i was drunk. The 2 guys ive made out with it just didnt feel right, their tongues felt gross and slobery to me. Im with this guy right now and i lost my virginity to him about a week ago. Its just strange because it felt right and up until today the thoughts have poped up in my head that maybe i am only into girls not both. This potentially could be a messy situation because we have told eachother that we love one another. And its strange because i do love so many things about him and i care very much for him. It just scares me because the physical part of the relationship really doesnt make me feel like i should. I sucked his dick and im not sure how that is supposed to be for a girl but i felt like gaging. He is adorable and I felt great being able to pleasure him. Also im not sure if its just because its been my first couple times having sex that its something to practice and get better at and supposed to be awkward for awhile. Also i feel i should mention my first relatioinship with a guy was one who turned out being gay. Getting into the relationship i knew he was bi and twords the end it had become more and more obvious to me to was completely gay. Now this is leaving me just so uncertain. I really do want to be with the guy im with now. I love the way his eyes light up i love his messy hair and i love then way he hunches over when he gets upset and thinking. Its so adorable the ways his underwear sticks up out of his pants like a grandpa. Its so cute that he wears clothes that are a little small on him. haha. Im scared because the sexual aspect of the relationship doesnt feel like i believe it has to be? I dont know if that is something that comes with time or if its because im young and this is new to me? Any sort of input would be great. Thanks for whoever went out of their way to read this and respond it really means alot.