this is kind of awkward for me to say, but i figured since i am on the internett i might as well come all out with it.
so i am trying to figure out my sexuality since i have noticed that i have been kind of turned on by gay porn and gay anime porn. up to like the beginning of this year i have only been looking at normal porn( and normal anime porn), but coming over something gay with an accident made me discover that i feel aroused by the tough of a male being mounted( either from a man or a woman)
as it looks now you would probably say that i am gay eh? but hang with me:
i dont know if this is actually love, but i think that i have experienced it twice, with girls.
might it be mental? might it be that i forced myself to be in love with that first one?
So the first girl was in my class and we where in 9th grade i am naturally very( VERY) nervous about stuff and never could bring myself to ask her out, but she kind of found out that i liked her and turned me down.
now the feelings i had could compare to being nervous just all day long, y knw getting butterflies in the belly. sometimes i would dream that i would have a normal job, a house, 2 cars, children and that she would be my wife. and that would be my ultimate dream y know. i never really got over her, when i met her now days its just kind of weird.
so the second girl was actually just today, i was working out at the gym and i noticed that she had switched gyms and i started talking to her, and i felt like i find her personality and the fact that she likes working out, just like me very attractive. so when cycling home and trough the rest of the day, i had butterflies in my stomach. i feel like i want to get together with her, you know.
so here is my problem, if we cutt out aniexity, this is the reason i can never bring myself to ask girls out;
What if we get in an intimate situation and i cant get a boner? because i turn out to be gay?
it would ruin my already fucked up deppresed lonely life, i have no fucking friends and if some rumors that i am gay got around the school my life would just crumble.
i just fucking wish i was normal, and wouldn't have to worry about this shit.
while watching hetro porn i sometimes need a little hand help to get it up, as i am a normal teen with plenty of testosterone pumping trough my veins, this is not normal. and may be an indicator that i am either gay or bisexual with a little more focus on guys.
so please help me!! my whole life is based around getting a girl and having children, if i am actually gay i would be devestated! i dont dare to pick up any girls because of this fear of not getting a boner in sex.
i am 16 and i have to enter 10 characters....
so i am trying to figure out my sexuality since i have noticed that i have been kind of turned on by gay porn and gay anime porn. up to like the beginning of this year i have only been looking at normal porn( and normal anime porn), but coming over something gay with an accident made me discover that i feel aroused by the tough of a male being mounted( either from a man or a woman)
as it looks now you would probably say that i am gay eh? but hang with me:
i dont know if this is actually love, but i think that i have experienced it twice, with girls.
might it be mental? might it be that i forced myself to be in love with that first one?
So the first girl was in my class and we where in 9th grade i am naturally very( VERY) nervous about stuff and never could bring myself to ask her out, but she kind of found out that i liked her and turned me down.
now the feelings i had could compare to being nervous just all day long, y knw getting butterflies in the belly. sometimes i would dream that i would have a normal job, a house, 2 cars, children and that she would be my wife. and that would be my ultimate dream y know. i never really got over her, when i met her now days its just kind of weird.
so the second girl was actually just today, i was working out at the gym and i noticed that she had switched gyms and i started talking to her, and i felt like i find her personality and the fact that she likes working out, just like me very attractive. so when cycling home and trough the rest of the day, i had butterflies in my stomach. i feel like i want to get together with her, you know.
so here is my problem, if we cutt out aniexity, this is the reason i can never bring myself to ask girls out;
What if we get in an intimate situation and i cant get a boner? because i turn out to be gay?
it would ruin my already fucked up deppresed lonely life, i have no fucking friends and if some rumors that i am gay got around the school my life would just crumble.
i just fucking wish i was normal, and wouldn't have to worry about this shit.
while watching hetro porn i sometimes need a little hand help to get it up, as i am a normal teen with plenty of testosterone pumping trough my veins, this is not normal. and may be an indicator that i am either gay or bisexual with a little more focus on guys.
so please help me!! my whole life is based around getting a girl and having children, if i am actually gay i would be devestated! i dont dare to pick up any girls because of this fear of not getting a boner in sex.
i am 16 and i have to enter 10 characters....