I'm Korean immigrants and I was Christian since I was born.
I think I'm mentally sick.
I wasn't like this 2 years ago.
I was very innocent, good-faith christian and patriot who always prayed for my country and I was really bright kid.
Now I became somewhat a sick person and I need to go back to who I was before.
I started watching hard-core gore movies.
I became used to it, and I needed a more hard-core movies which resulted me finding snuff films which filmed a real people dying.
Back in Korea, the asian culture kept me from sexual materials.
However, in here America, American culture and all my American friends keep peer pressurizing me which resulted myself become one of them.
Then, I started to know all kinds of weird and sick sex acts, such as rainbow shower, pearl necklace, etc.
Then, I started to watch videos and photos of corpses of people after being tortured and brutally got killed.
After watching videos of all kinds of gay sex, anal sex, incest, etc
I started watching child pornography.
And now I'm getting used to it as well.
How do I return to myself back then?
My family and friends never know I'm like this.
I never miss out church, never being rude or disrepect to others, I have enormous respect for my parents, and have no problem getting along with my friends and family.
However, I really need to go back.
But I just can't
I tried million times but
once you get to it, you can't
stop watching hard-core gore movies, snuff films, gay sex, anal sex, incest, etc are easy.
However, quiting lustful or murderous sick thinking and straight pornography can't be quit.
I'm a christian and I want to stop all these
I prayed to God to solve this before but it didn't go well.
Please HELP?!
I think I'm mentally sick.
I wasn't like this 2 years ago.
I was very innocent, good-faith christian and patriot who always prayed for my country and I was really bright kid.
Now I became somewhat a sick person and I need to go back to who I was before.
I started watching hard-core gore movies.
I became used to it, and I needed a more hard-core movies which resulted me finding snuff films which filmed a real people dying.
Back in Korea, the asian culture kept me from sexual materials.
However, in here America, American culture and all my American friends keep peer pressurizing me which resulted myself become one of them.
Then, I started to know all kinds of weird and sick sex acts, such as rainbow shower, pearl necklace, etc.
Then, I started to watch videos and photos of corpses of people after being tortured and brutally got killed.
After watching videos of all kinds of gay sex, anal sex, incest, etc
I started watching child pornography.
And now I'm getting used to it as well.
How do I return to myself back then?
My family and friends never know I'm like this.
I never miss out church, never being rude or disrepect to others, I have enormous respect for my parents, and have no problem getting along with my friends and family.
However, I really need to go back.
But I just can't
I tried million times but
once you get to it, you can't
stop watching hard-core gore movies, snuff films, gay sex, anal sex, incest, etc are easy.
However, quiting lustful or murderous sick thinking and straight pornography can't be quit.
I'm a christian and I want to stop all these
I prayed to God to solve this before but it didn't go well.
Please HELP?!