Hi bee..my daughter is the addict in my life. Sadly she is presently incarcerated due to her drug use.
One thing that I do know after all of this time dealing with this, is that there is little that we can do FOR THEM, but much that we can do for ourselves. I say this with more compassion than I can express. I am so sorry for your pain.
If you can get and read the book Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. She is a recovering addict and she will help you with so many things when you read her book. It is like sitting down with a good friend talking.
Our loved ones will only get better when they are willing to admit that their lives truly have become unmanagable, and then they reach out, (hopefully) for help.
As addiction progresses and it always does they just get sicker and use more. They will sadly lie and steal and their drinking or drugs become nuraber one in their lives.
They are not doing this TO us, although it feels so personal doesn't it? We are constantly worried and scared and frustrated Again, there is nothing that we can do FOR them.
One thing you don't want to do is enable. Enabling is doing anything for them that they "could" or "should" be doing for themselves. If we clean up their messes, be it financially or say cover for them when they miss work, then we are just helping to keep them sick longer.
I would never tell you to stay in the relationship or not. That is such a personal choice and only one that each person can make. BUT most important is that you take care of you. A drowning person cannot save a drowning person.
See if there are any al-anon meetings near your home. You will learn how to detach with love and how to not take this personal ANd it will help you to be with others that truly DO understand.
Keep posting and learning all that you can. Again, I am very sorry for your pain because I understand it so very well.
If there is anything I can do...let me know.
You have my prayers...
Madison
