misssparrow15
New member
In my high school marching band, our flute section is pretty big- 15 people, most of them freshmen and sophomores- and there are no seniors, only 3 juniors. I was named section leader along with another girl (let's call her Girl A), but the 3rd girl (let's call her Girl B) was not. I admit, Girl A is a natural leader and was doing better than I was, but I didn't totally fail at it. As the season progressed, our director decided to have Girl B be a section leader too because there were so many people in our section and some of them were giving us a hard time, and it seemed fairer. At first this seemed to work out and I got better at leading, though Girl A seemed to be the main leader. I didn't always feel good about this, but the section was doing well so I let it go.
But now Girl A and Girl B have started to exclude me. They talk to each other about decisions but not me, and they whisper or run off to talk without me all the time. I know it's deliberate because whenever I try to talk to them about it, they brush me off or ignore me. They even planned section bonding completely without me and didn't even ask my opinion of the idea. It's gotten to the point where they barely talk to me, and the worst part is that they each have a couple of best friends in the section on their sides- and I don't. I don't want this to turn into a civil war, but I can't let this go on anymore. I'm not sure if it's because I started out as not the best leader (but I've gotten much better since the summer!), or if it's something I said or did (which as far as I know hasn't happened). I'm really depressed about all this, especially since I was section leader way before Girl B, plus all our previous section leaders were very close and treated each other equally. I;m afraid to talk to my director about it because he will just tell me to be more assertive (which I'm trying to do!) plus if he talks to the girls they might turn on me even more. What should I do?!
PS. The three of us used to be pretty good friends before all this happened, especially me and Girl A. Girl A still acts friendly to me in another class we have (but we have no time to talk about anything in that class, and Girl B isn't there), but in band it's totally different... I'm so confused!
But now Girl A and Girl B have started to exclude me. They talk to each other about decisions but not me, and they whisper or run off to talk without me all the time. I know it's deliberate because whenever I try to talk to them about it, they brush me off or ignore me. They even planned section bonding completely without me and didn't even ask my opinion of the idea. It's gotten to the point where they barely talk to me, and the worst part is that they each have a couple of best friends in the section on their sides- and I don't. I don't want this to turn into a civil war, but I can't let this go on anymore. I'm not sure if it's because I started out as not the best leader (but I've gotten much better since the summer!), or if it's something I said or did (which as far as I know hasn't happened). I'm really depressed about all this, especially since I was section leader way before Girl B, plus all our previous section leaders were very close and treated each other equally. I;m afraid to talk to my director about it because he will just tell me to be more assertive (which I'm trying to do!) plus if he talks to the girls they might turn on me even more. What should I do?!
PS. The three of us used to be pretty good friends before all this happened, especially me and Girl A. Girl A still acts friendly to me in another class we have (but we have no time to talk about anything in that class, and Girl B isn't there), but in band it's totally different... I'm so confused!