Hi Dragon90. I have experienced this fear too - you are definitely not alone. My mom had to crush my pills up and give them to me in applesauce until I was 12 or so. I still can't swallow large pills.
It is important that you tell your parents what is going on. My guess is that it's anxiety, but you need to be checked out by a doctor. You can get help for this and get some relief.
Also, it is important that they know you have not been taking your pills. I have no idea what meRAB you are taking, but skipping some pills can be life-threatening depending on your reason for taking them.
Please let your parents know. Good luck!