Help! Engagement.. Family.. Military.. How do I make them understand?

S

Shadow

New member
I want to talk to my boyfriend about getting engaged for our 4 year anniversary in a couple months. He is in the military.

My family just fought with me over living with him a few months ago, to the point I thought they were going to disown me. (Not because they don't like him but because they wanted me to do it on my own for awhile.. and said if I moved in with him they would no longer help me financially.. at all)


Since then, we've been living together anyway (without their knowledge).. and it's really working for us. When the whole thing went down last time, my boyfriend and I talked alot about getting married. Because with my family not helping financially, the military could take care of the majority of my expenses. But I backed out of the idea because I didn't want to feel like we were getting married because it was our only option. I want to get married for the right reasons.



Now, its been a few months, we love living together. And I think I'm ready to get engaged now!




So my question is, --how do I bring this up to him?
He kind of got his feelings hurt when we talked about getting married and got his hopes up, and then it didn't happen.

Also, if we were to get engaged, how would I tell my parents this?
One more-- You're opinion: Courthouse or Traditional Wedding?



If you could answer one or all, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!!
 
im sure he will understand that u just wanted to wait out a bit of u two living together to make sure it would still work while in the same house hold. i know living together before marriage is supposed to be a sin but i dont see how people do it otherwise because u should know each others living habits before getting urself into something unknown lol...but tell him u are totally comfortable now and u cant imagine life without him. be honest with your parents and from my own experience if they love u they may be upset or disappointed for a while but give them time and they will get over it and realize its your decision and they need to support you because u are their child. u will always be their child regardless of who u marry. and i would say either courthouse or traditional depending on ur personal finances and what u guys can afford, if u do get married at courthouse u can always renew ur vows at like 5 yrs and have a party/reception then when u are more stable. either way as long as u get married thats the point :) if u love each other it doesnt matter where the marriage takes place
 
Just talk to him.. Tel him that u wanted to get married to him for the right reasons & not bcoz that was the only option.. Put it in such a way that he wud understand..

Tell ur parents directly.. Anywayz, they don dislike him.. And then there's no way of tellin ur parents ur intention. But tell them only aftr u've spoken to ur boyfriend & u both hav decided to marry..

I wud suggest a Traditional wedding coz wedding happens once in a Lifetime & its a very special day... But if there are Financial problems, courthouse wedding is also gr8... At the end, all that matters is u both r together & happy.. :)
 
Back
Top