He

D

Derpa derp derp

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He lurks in the dusty corners of the mind
He has shaped men into all that they are
He is violent and passionless
with a will to power

He slits the throat of freedom
upon the altar of the status quo

He has been called many names
but has never been seen
even as He stared His namers
into submission

He speaks with an ephemeral tongue
nudging the ebb and flow of acuity
along the paths
He dare not resist

He whispers
He is seductive
He runs his fingers down my spine
and my back arches sensuously
 
if you read it from the end to the beginning this piece is miasmic in its paranoia. The sort that's schizotypal, both acknowledged that it is both real and not real. The fearful respect is still present because it comes across as an entity that cannot be destroyed or reasoned with.
 
it would be nice if this mysterious person was more interesting but it seems the extent of his existence is like some seductive horror movie villain. not sure what the desired effect of the poem is - creep us out? your vulnerability and motive for uttering the poem is at the end barely betrayed as you are revealed the seduct-ee. for what effect? also poems as you mightve heard are written not with ideas but with worRAB, and i'm starving for music and more affective adjectives, nouns, pronouns. the images are reminiscent of a horror movie with a magical villain and are altogether uninteresting to me:

lurking in corners
nameless - or else! something bad will happen
passionless, violent
slits throat of... freedom, in this case, but the slitting the throat of an idea is still not too interesting or affective.
speaking with ghostly tongue
infiltration of psyches

also why does he dare not resist paths. thats a little confusing, because the subject in question is full confidence and badassery until suddenly and jarringly there is something that he should not dare resist... or else what? theres some vulnerability that he has now, even though hes the master of seduction and metaphysical mystery? very unresolved and confusing and not in a good way.
 
He not lower case he. He is not a person. are poems not allowed to be paradoxical? obtuse language might not describe anything but suggest everything. the desired effect of the poem is not to say something, but to describe something that each reader will have to consider, and through consideration relate it to themselves. their perception of the poem is what will create meaning and every interpretation of the poem will be individualistic to the reader.

there is no capital Truth.

this is not to say that this poem does not have specific meaning to me, but my interpretation of this poems meaning is not any greater or lesser than any other.
 
theres no capital truth but some interpretations are just stupid. not sure what your post has to do with my post though because my main point wasn't that obtuseness/unclearness is bad it was that the imagery and He character i felt were rather stale and boring and reminiscent of a cheesy slasher film which i don't think under any circumstances a great poem wants to be associated with.
 
and i think it's a rather decent one at that lol don't mean to be a dick or anything but you seem like you're sour graping and deflecting criticism by saying "oh well that's just what you think" well guess who's saying it then that's a pretty fatuous remark you have kitsch.
 
your criticism is noted. your interpretation the poem was shallow, aesthetic, and pretty uninteresting. i dont care if you dont like the poem. why should i have to respond to any criticism you have? you have made your case, and now i decide what to do with what you have said.

i am spoonful, poet laureate of mx, ee cummings' personal cocksucker.
 
ee cummings is cool. was making fun of spoonful for doing a hack imitation

aklsigjoasigkm
a8t8wjoimsuf9ianlu
SCREE
SCREEE
SCREEEE

its so expressive, man
 
i think noonwarRAB writing is just schizophrenic phrases drawing random connections through time and space. rhythmic but nonsensical.

i do like his repetition sometimes and how he can use the word lo!
 
im pretty sure all that writing me n noonward have done is nonsensical and i don't even care to justify it or even label it poetry. i just like getting buzzed and hammering at a keyboard. strangely i think that kind of writing is more interesting than yours. you're really insecure i can tell by your hostile response to my crit.



ee cummings never comes to mind when i hammer that stuff. also if u cant sense the irony and humor in that nonsensical stuff too bad for you.
 
youre the one that set the aggressive tone.

you can criticize it all you want, but i still dont care. i make no concessions.

if you cant come up with anything in your experiences to relate this poem to than a cheap slasher movie too bad for you. suspend your disbelief
 
bro its just boring bro

ur trying to be all mysterious with the poem and it just turned out all dumb with some entity named "He" being all creepy in corners and being a metaphysical weirdo.

also see a doctor bro if ur a guy you might be gay this poem is a metaphor for your gayness lol think about it thats my interpretation
 
youve pushed him there, trying to deny ur gayness, he waits in the dusty corners for the right moment, moments like when your friend whispers close because you cant hear him and his warm breath crawls down your neck and you like and you want more.



he has forced you to shape men to the objects of sex that you perceive. he is the ur-man of your desire. he is the primitive gay urges that are violent and unruly. you can't control your gayness, you just want that ass.



here "He" won't let you free from his gay tyrannic influence. the status quo is the heterosexual world, the heaven you yearn for which he defaces with blood. you cannot get away from the calling for man ass.



this is a very smart commentary on the difficulties of the first days of the aid virus outbreak among the gay community. many butt loving men like you have sadly had to submit to it.



great imagery ebb flow of cock in your mouth as he utters ephemeral sweet nothings. youre being seduced now. he is no longer in a dusty corner in your mind, he is real and very gay like you.



and now its resolved hes made you entirely gaytown youre fully gay and loving it like a kitten your ass upenRAB and he penetrates and you love it.
 
I see it more as a Diety. It could also be someone who sahpes, such as a father or older figure that has passed away. Well written w/o the use of rhyme, however I do feel some of it was a little ambiguous. I think that was the point though, to get the reader to re read it.
 
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