TechnoNerd
New member
Hello; this is long, but if you could help me, I would really appreciate it. I just have no idea who I can trust. 
I'm not exactly sure what to ask, but I just could really use some advice. My husband and I have been married for a year, and friends for almost three. He is the first person I really got to know when I moved to Finland, and truly the best friend I've ever had. We're both independent people, but oddly enough we spend most of our time together, even at work.
However, on New Year's eve, one of our mutual friends was flirting with him. Knowing that our friend is a flirt in general (and male), I didn't think anything of it, especially since my husband completely brushed it off. It's just the way our friend jokes around. However, the whole night my husband was uncharacteristically mute, and when we walked back to our apartment, he told me that he thinks he's attracted to our friend, "physically, but not emotionally," but assured me he would never act on this attraction. It came as a surprise to me, as my husband never thought he was bisexual before this. Still, I told him that it didn't matter to me, because I know how he feels about cheating. We carried on for another week relatively normally (Though I did feel a little jealous, but tried not to let it show), and then...
This morning, our friend called us on our home phone. I answered, but he sounded really nervous when I talked to him. He quickly asked, "Sierra, could I please speak to Sascha?" So, I handed the phone to Sascha, and Mathias switched to Danish, since he and Sascha speak it, and I don't. Sascha kept asking for Mathias to speak Finnish, but he kept refusing to answer Sascha when he spoke anything other than Danish, which I found really odd. Finally, Sascha ended the call, and I asked him what they were talking about. Sascha immediately told me that he'd told Mathias a few days ago that he was interested in men and therefore wanted the flirtations to stop to respect me. However, Mathias was upset, and felt like Sascha was "taking a joke way too far." He had called to tell Sascha that he felt "used as a mechanism to explore your sexuality when you're already married," which- knowing my husband's intentions- isn't what he meant to do in the least.
However, my husband told me after the call that he needed to get away for a week or two, just to be by himself. I know it might sound naive, but I truly believe he wouldn't cheat on me in his absence- he's one of the most loyal people I've ever met, and one of the most honest. Still, I can't rationalize why he would leave me here alone, as selfish as it sounds. He left for St. Petersburg about two hours ago, and since then I've just been a mess. I even called Mathias to ask him what he said, but he's so infuriated with Sascha that he keeps telling me that he doesn't even want to talk about him. Please don't get the wrong idea- many people have taken advantage of my trusting nature, but neither Sascha nor Mathias ever have before. They're the two people I trust most, actually, which is why I feel like my whole world is crashing down right now. I've been doing everything I can to distract myself- music, answering questions on here, work, you name it- but I can't help but feel like I'm going to break down at any minute. Can you please give me some advice? I just need to know that there's something I can do. D:
I'm not exactly sure what to ask, but I just could really use some advice. My husband and I have been married for a year, and friends for almost three. He is the first person I really got to know when I moved to Finland, and truly the best friend I've ever had. We're both independent people, but oddly enough we spend most of our time together, even at work.
However, on New Year's eve, one of our mutual friends was flirting with him. Knowing that our friend is a flirt in general (and male), I didn't think anything of it, especially since my husband completely brushed it off. It's just the way our friend jokes around. However, the whole night my husband was uncharacteristically mute, and when we walked back to our apartment, he told me that he thinks he's attracted to our friend, "physically, but not emotionally," but assured me he would never act on this attraction. It came as a surprise to me, as my husband never thought he was bisexual before this. Still, I told him that it didn't matter to me, because I know how he feels about cheating. We carried on for another week relatively normally (Though I did feel a little jealous, but tried not to let it show), and then...
This morning, our friend called us on our home phone. I answered, but he sounded really nervous when I talked to him. He quickly asked, "Sierra, could I please speak to Sascha?" So, I handed the phone to Sascha, and Mathias switched to Danish, since he and Sascha speak it, and I don't. Sascha kept asking for Mathias to speak Finnish, but he kept refusing to answer Sascha when he spoke anything other than Danish, which I found really odd. Finally, Sascha ended the call, and I asked him what they were talking about. Sascha immediately told me that he'd told Mathias a few days ago that he was interested in men and therefore wanted the flirtations to stop to respect me. However, Mathias was upset, and felt like Sascha was "taking a joke way too far." He had called to tell Sascha that he felt "used as a mechanism to explore your sexuality when you're already married," which- knowing my husband's intentions- isn't what he meant to do in the least.
However, my husband told me after the call that he needed to get away for a week or two, just to be by himself. I know it might sound naive, but I truly believe he wouldn't cheat on me in his absence- he's one of the most loyal people I've ever met, and one of the most honest. Still, I can't rationalize why he would leave me here alone, as selfish as it sounds. He left for St. Petersburg about two hours ago, and since then I've just been a mess. I even called Mathias to ask him what he said, but he's so infuriated with Sascha that he keeps telling me that he doesn't even want to talk about him. Please don't get the wrong idea- many people have taken advantage of my trusting nature, but neither Sascha nor Mathias ever have before. They're the two people I trust most, actually, which is why I feel like my whole world is crashing down right now. I've been doing everything I can to distract myself- music, answering questions on here, work, you name it- but I can't help but feel like I'm going to break down at any minute. Can you please give me some advice? I just need to know that there's something I can do. D: