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When I was 17, I had 4 best friends who got pregnant. Only one of them is still with her boyfriend.
Now that I'm 19, there's 2 new people who are pregnant. One is left by her boyfriend [typical]. I was mad because she told me details that I didn't need to know like how they ran out of condoms and so they decided to do it unprotected several times. OF COURSE she would get pregnant. Stupid.
The other one got pregnant because... well she's wanted the guy for years, and they started to hang out every night and now... poooof! She's pregnant. Now they're getting married because her parents want the child to be a "legitimate child". Maybe they should have taught their daughter to be legitimate smart.
Why do I find it so difficult to be supportive of them? I want to tell them things that only a mother should say. I guess it's because of how I was brought up by my parents, they will beat me unconscious if I was pregnant. I believe my friends and I just don't have that same fear of our parents. They tease me all the time for being too obedient of my parents, one who got pregnant hasn't stopped doing so. It makes me want to tell her off by saying "hey, I follow them and that is why I am not a single mother and will be enjoying my 20's and 30's", but I know that's a low blow, I'm on the edge of saying it though. How do I become supportive of their choices? How do I stop myself from being so upset towards their situation? Why do I always feel like they made a great escape whenever I see their parents taking care of their children?
Please, if you are only to slam me about "not knowing what it feels like" or all that, don't even reply. That's why I asked this question, to learn how to be there for them.
Thanks
Thank you guys for the response! They are making me think lots of things. Need I explain if I am still a virgin or not? No, I am not. And no, I do not think of myself "better" than my friends. And no, I definitely am not jealous of them getting engaged, they're 19 for crying out loud. I don't see myself getting married anytime soon, I just have the same mentality of a guy in his 20's not thinking of settling down in the near future. It's killing me to see them with babies... I love my friends so much that it sickens me seeing them go through tough times because of their decisions. Just the thought of them not going to college, not having the life that they have always wanted... it breaks my heart. But I guess you guys are right, I should support them even though I am completely against their decisions. So please to others who have responded, do not judge me as a conceited person. I'm not, hence my need for an advice to be a better friend, because I know I am not good enough yet.
Now that I'm 19, there's 2 new people who are pregnant. One is left by her boyfriend [typical]. I was mad because she told me details that I didn't need to know like how they ran out of condoms and so they decided to do it unprotected several times. OF COURSE she would get pregnant. Stupid.
The other one got pregnant because... well she's wanted the guy for years, and they started to hang out every night and now... poooof! She's pregnant. Now they're getting married because her parents want the child to be a "legitimate child". Maybe they should have taught their daughter to be legitimate smart.
Why do I find it so difficult to be supportive of them? I want to tell them things that only a mother should say. I guess it's because of how I was brought up by my parents, they will beat me unconscious if I was pregnant. I believe my friends and I just don't have that same fear of our parents. They tease me all the time for being too obedient of my parents, one who got pregnant hasn't stopped doing so. It makes me want to tell her off by saying "hey, I follow them and that is why I am not a single mother and will be enjoying my 20's and 30's", but I know that's a low blow, I'm on the edge of saying it though. How do I become supportive of their choices? How do I stop myself from being so upset towards their situation? Why do I always feel like they made a great escape whenever I see their parents taking care of their children?
Please, if you are only to slam me about "not knowing what it feels like" or all that, don't even reply. That's why I asked this question, to learn how to be there for them.
Thanks
Thank you guys for the response! They are making me think lots of things. Need I explain if I am still a virgin or not? No, I am not. And no, I do not think of myself "better" than my friends. And no, I definitely am not jealous of them getting engaged, they're 19 for crying out loud. I don't see myself getting married anytime soon, I just have the same mentality of a guy in his 20's not thinking of settling down in the near future. It's killing me to see them with babies... I love my friends so much that it sickens me seeing them go through tough times because of their decisions. Just the thought of them not going to college, not having the life that they have always wanted... it breaks my heart. But I guess you guys are right, I should support them even though I am completely against their decisions. So please to others who have responded, do not judge me as a conceited person. I'm not, hence my need for an advice to be a better friend, because I know I am not good enough yet.