Do you know how does it feel to live both physically and emotionally alone in this life for a long period in your life?! I feel that all the shitty stuff that happened to me when I was a young teenager had an obvious affect on my life, specially since there was no one beside me back then. You might tell me go to a therapist or something, it wont work. The problem is that I conceder my self smart, and it's really hard to convince me of things that are not real. I feel that my personality have developed in a horrible conditions, and I basically feel helpless about it. It's easy to say that I am doing this to myself and I can fix it if I want to, but the truth is that there are some wounds you can't heal, but you can only make it a little better, and I honestly don't feel like fixing things 
The main issue I live with is this: I don't hold much respect to "The Human Grace" in general including myself, because i'm a human as well. It has to do with me having to deal with my own problems, and though I had alot of people around me, no one really bothered. I was young, around 13, and to me back then those problems where worth everything.
If you think about it, for example we, "Human", call each others sometimes best friends. Yet best friends will get to a point in life where everyone of them is busy with his own life, and would not see each other for more than weeks or even months and years on a regular bases, yet they still are best friends. The truth is that no one really cares about an other in this life, everyone has his own issues to deal with. I understand that believe me, thats how life is, but knowing that just makes it really hard for me to care for someone, because even if I showed care toward him/her, I truly don't see how we would call this caring, it's just BS. I would have loved to be born in a different age, an age where people live in a small groups with basic equipments, no much technology, yet they are all happy by the simple-ism that is surrounding them.
The main issue I live with is this: I don't hold much respect to "The Human Grace" in general including myself, because i'm a human as well. It has to do with me having to deal with my own problems, and though I had alot of people around me, no one really bothered. I was young, around 13, and to me back then those problems where worth everything.
If you think about it, for example we, "Human", call each others sometimes best friends. Yet best friends will get to a point in life where everyone of them is busy with his own life, and would not see each other for more than weeks or even months and years on a regular bases, yet they still are best friends. The truth is that no one really cares about an other in this life, everyone has his own issues to deal with. I understand that believe me, thats how life is, but knowing that just makes it really hard for me to care for someone, because even if I showed care toward him/her, I truly don't see how we would call this caring, it's just BS. I would have loved to be born in a different age, an age where people live in a small groups with basic equipments, no much technology, yet they are all happy by the simple-ism that is surrounding them.