Viva la Furia Roja
New member
I'm 29 and this has been bothering me a LOT for almost my entire life. It's more than just "I don't like it." It's REALLY bothering me. I can't bear to live the rest of my life with this hideous last name. I've been unhappy for a long time and it causes me emotional pain every day. No one understand why I feel the way I feel.
I've been unhappy all my life and I did some research and discovered that there's a beautiful Spanish last name in our family tree. I feel like it's me and that it's the person and name that I truly am inside. It's such a shame for such a beautiful name to be lost forever. I feel in my heart that this name was meant for me to have and that it's the person and name I truly am.
Please don't make any value judgements abojt me, this is something really emotional for me.
I really love my family and I wasn't abused or anything like that. It doesn't have anything to do with them. I just hate the name. It's ugly and I don't identify with it and I can't stand to answer to it or say it.
Also, getting married and changing it won't work for many reasons. I'm just too miserable to wait. Second, I HATE that tradiation of the woman taking the man's last name. I want a name and identity of my own. I NEVER want to get married. Third, if I did marry then I want to do things the traditional Hispanic way. In the Hispanic culture the woman usually keeps her name and the kids usually inherit one surname from dad and one from mom.
I have more reasons.
First of all I'm a musician. I want to take the music to the next level. I have a really plain sounding full name and I want something more special. I know that using a stage name is an option but I don't want a stage name or a fake name. I want my real name to be something more elegant.
Seond, I need a link to my Spanish heritage. I want a Spanish last name so bad, but more than that, I NEED one. Having an American last name bothers me. It's don't just WISH I were Hispanic. I feel like I have the heart and soul of a Hispanic person. Hispanic culture is half my life and a huge part of my identity. I have Spanish heritage but people see the last name and they'll think I don't have Spanish blood. I hate being asked what my surname is. Just TELLING people isn't good enough; it just sounds stupid and just anyone can say they have Hispanic ancestry.
Also, I've studied in two Hispanic countries. I've always felt unhappy and out of place in American culture and in the two Hispanic countries I felt accepted and that I could be myself. When I returned to the US I had a REALLY rough time readjusting to American culture. I became very depressed and still haven't readjusted. My heart is in Mexico and Spain and always was. I have Spanish heritage of my own and the heart and soul of a Hispanic person and I need to have a link to Hispanic culture and that part of my heritage. Having my Spanish ancestor's last name would be that link I need so badly. Being forced to use an American last name is like being forced to deny who I am and being forced to disassociate myself from the culture where my heart is. It's so painful.
There's another reason. I have a VERY plain, common full name. There are so many people with that full name that I don't have ANY identity or anything to uniquely identify just me! I'm always getting mixed up with somebody else everywhere I go. I need to have a unique name to identify only me. Instead I have a generic name and it's so embarrassing. I feel like another face in the crowd and that's so disheartening.
One last reason. I doubt that I'll ever get married but if I did I would like to go live in a Hispanic country and follow the Hispanic tradition. I would like the kids to inherit a name from dad and a name from me. I would like them to have an authentic name and surnames. José Rodríguez Smith doesn't sound right at all.
I would change my name here in USA, but I would eventually like to live in a Hspanic country for good. That won't be easy. But I feel in my heart that's where I belong and having an American name makes me feel alienated and more foreign. I speak perfect Spanish and didn't even have to adjust when I arrived in Spain and Mexico; it was like I'd always lived there. I hate having an American name because it isolates me from the culture where my heart and soul is and makes me deny my identity.
I've told my family how I feel. They're not hurt because they know why I feel this way.
Please go away if you have a mean or rude answer.
Thanks if you can help me.
Je repeté: I NEVER want to get married.
IF I did though, I want to do it the Hispanic way. In Mexico and Spain, the woman keeps her own name and then the kids inherit a last name from each parent.
I've been unhappy all my life and I did some research and discovered that there's a beautiful Spanish last name in our family tree. I feel like it's me and that it's the person and name that I truly am inside. It's such a shame for such a beautiful name to be lost forever. I feel in my heart that this name was meant for me to have and that it's the person and name I truly am.
Please don't make any value judgements abojt me, this is something really emotional for me.
I really love my family and I wasn't abused or anything like that. It doesn't have anything to do with them. I just hate the name. It's ugly and I don't identify with it and I can't stand to answer to it or say it.
Also, getting married and changing it won't work for many reasons. I'm just too miserable to wait. Second, I HATE that tradiation of the woman taking the man's last name. I want a name and identity of my own. I NEVER want to get married. Third, if I did marry then I want to do things the traditional Hispanic way. In the Hispanic culture the woman usually keeps her name and the kids usually inherit one surname from dad and one from mom.
I have more reasons.
First of all I'm a musician. I want to take the music to the next level. I have a really plain sounding full name and I want something more special. I know that using a stage name is an option but I don't want a stage name or a fake name. I want my real name to be something more elegant.
Seond, I need a link to my Spanish heritage. I want a Spanish last name so bad, but more than that, I NEED one. Having an American last name bothers me. It's don't just WISH I were Hispanic. I feel like I have the heart and soul of a Hispanic person. Hispanic culture is half my life and a huge part of my identity. I have Spanish heritage but people see the last name and they'll think I don't have Spanish blood. I hate being asked what my surname is. Just TELLING people isn't good enough; it just sounds stupid and just anyone can say they have Hispanic ancestry.
Also, I've studied in two Hispanic countries. I've always felt unhappy and out of place in American culture and in the two Hispanic countries I felt accepted and that I could be myself. When I returned to the US I had a REALLY rough time readjusting to American culture. I became very depressed and still haven't readjusted. My heart is in Mexico and Spain and always was. I have Spanish heritage of my own and the heart and soul of a Hispanic person and I need to have a link to Hispanic culture and that part of my heritage. Having my Spanish ancestor's last name would be that link I need so badly. Being forced to use an American last name is like being forced to deny who I am and being forced to disassociate myself from the culture where my heart is. It's so painful.
There's another reason. I have a VERY plain, common full name. There are so many people with that full name that I don't have ANY identity or anything to uniquely identify just me! I'm always getting mixed up with somebody else everywhere I go. I need to have a unique name to identify only me. Instead I have a generic name and it's so embarrassing. I feel like another face in the crowd and that's so disheartening.
One last reason. I doubt that I'll ever get married but if I did I would like to go live in a Hispanic country and follow the Hispanic tradition. I would like the kids to inherit a name from dad and a name from me. I would like them to have an authentic name and surnames. José Rodríguez Smith doesn't sound right at all.
I would change my name here in USA, but I would eventually like to live in a Hspanic country for good. That won't be easy. But I feel in my heart that's where I belong and having an American name makes me feel alienated and more foreign. I speak perfect Spanish and didn't even have to adjust when I arrived in Spain and Mexico; it was like I'd always lived there. I hate having an American name because it isolates me from the culture where my heart and soul is and makes me deny my identity.
I've told my family how I feel. They're not hurt because they know why I feel this way.
Please go away if you have a mean or rude answer.
Thanks if you can help me.
Je repeté: I NEVER want to get married.
IF I did though, I want to do it the Hispanic way. In Mexico and Spain, the woman keeps her own name and then the kids inherit a last name from each parent.