I had a fight with my boyfriend yesterday. I spoke to him after he finished work and he was fine. Then I had one drink after work, I was going to stay for another but he didn't pick up his phone so I couldn't tell him so I decided not to have the other drink I came home. When I got there he was in a really strange mood. I asked him and he started going on about a fight we had a few weeks ago where I told him that he is often angry at me and I don't feel like I always deserve it. That I had spoken to a friend about it and even they sometimes look shocked. Things have been ok since then but I still manage to make him mad without even trying. Anyway I really don't want to be fighting with him but also want to be heard so was going to send this email below. Bit hard without going in to to much details but your comments are welcome.
Hi Steve (sudo name)
Don’t read this until you are away from your desk or at lunch because I know you don’t like me emailing personal things whilst you are at work.
You were right. I did leave earlier than I needed to today for my viewing. But truth be told I had an awful nights sleep and just lying there was making me agitated so I thought it would be better use if I went to work.
I have no idea what changed with you last night. First I’m getting emails saying you love me, I also speak to you on the phone at 4:30 and you sound fine. Ali buys me a drink after work because it had been a long day. I don’t stay long as I haven’t been able to reach you. I’m also looking forward to seeing you. However, when I get home you are in a bad mood because of the fight we had weeks ago.
I realise that fight was hard for you to take and I said a lot of things. But I was ready for us to be done as I was on the end of my tether and didn’t think I could go on any more and be happy. But the whole thing was exactly about how I never know how you are going to be. You have no idea how hard I try to be the perfect person for you. There has never been one instance when you have found me angry when you though everything was fine. I just don’t get mad at you out of the blue. I have got mad on occasion when you have been angry at me and sometimes I don’t think I deserve it.
I think you are really hard on me in general. But its times like last night where I think, what is the point of me trying so hard when it appears I can appear to make you upset with my hands tied behind my back.
I don’t know why you would think that Cali doesn’t like you. Yes I have talked about it when me and you have fought. Sometimes I am so bewildered by the things you are mad at me about that I do need to talk to someone. I emailed Cali yesterday and haven’t heard back and I’m not taking it personal. You also have come back from Toms or your brothers and said you have discussed things with them and have told me that ‘they agree with you’ in respect to things.
I was so looking forward to seeing you last night. But I can never know when I’m going to have you angry at me, I can’t predict it no matter how much I try. But it must be nice for you. To never have to worry if I’m mad or not because I try not to do that to you because I know how sh*t it feels.
So not really the time to be going out to dinner or anything. Maybe you can go out with your friends and I will go to a movie or something, all I want is to be happy and enjoy my time on the planet.
Hi Steve (sudo name)
Don’t read this until you are away from your desk or at lunch because I know you don’t like me emailing personal things whilst you are at work.
You were right. I did leave earlier than I needed to today for my viewing. But truth be told I had an awful nights sleep and just lying there was making me agitated so I thought it would be better use if I went to work.
I have no idea what changed with you last night. First I’m getting emails saying you love me, I also speak to you on the phone at 4:30 and you sound fine. Ali buys me a drink after work because it had been a long day. I don’t stay long as I haven’t been able to reach you. I’m also looking forward to seeing you. However, when I get home you are in a bad mood because of the fight we had weeks ago.
I realise that fight was hard for you to take and I said a lot of things. But I was ready for us to be done as I was on the end of my tether and didn’t think I could go on any more and be happy. But the whole thing was exactly about how I never know how you are going to be. You have no idea how hard I try to be the perfect person for you. There has never been one instance when you have found me angry when you though everything was fine. I just don’t get mad at you out of the blue. I have got mad on occasion when you have been angry at me and sometimes I don’t think I deserve it.
I think you are really hard on me in general. But its times like last night where I think, what is the point of me trying so hard when it appears I can appear to make you upset with my hands tied behind my back.
I don’t know why you would think that Cali doesn’t like you. Yes I have talked about it when me and you have fought. Sometimes I am so bewildered by the things you are mad at me about that I do need to talk to someone. I emailed Cali yesterday and haven’t heard back and I’m not taking it personal. You also have come back from Toms or your brothers and said you have discussed things with them and have told me that ‘they agree with you’ in respect to things.
I was so looking forward to seeing you last night. But I can never know when I’m going to have you angry at me, I can’t predict it no matter how much I try. But it must be nice for you. To never have to worry if I’m mad or not because I try not to do that to you because I know how sh*t it feels.
So not really the time to be going out to dinner or anything. Maybe you can go out with your friends and I will go to a movie or something, all I want is to be happy and enjoy my time on the planet.