Guys and girls, please answer. Should sex wait until after marriage, or not?

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Angel D

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I'm 18 years old and a virgin. Haven't really had a proper boyfriend, most likely because I'm shy.
Anyways, sex seems like it is a lot of fun perhaps because it has been glamourised by film and the like.

On one hand I would like to have sex before I get married, but on the other I don't want to become just an item of pleasure for my lover.. I read this article in a magazine about people my age and a bit older who have vowed to wait until marriage before they have sex.

I doubted that many sex-hungry males would buy into this so I Googled the topic. Most guys said that sexual compatibility in a relationship was extremely vital, and they would never date someone who wouldn't have sex with them. I found it kinda shocking but at the same time a predictable response.

I am not religious, would only a religious guy feel the same way about this?
Is virginity meaningless? What do you people think?
 
I think, in this culture people put way too much emphasis on certain events. For example people worry more and put more work into the wedding than the marriage. Women are so afraid of birth that they put no thought into pregnancy and worse infant care.

In this case I think you are likely putting too much emphasis on "losing" your virginity. That "first time" is really not any more special than your first time with a new partner, or you 10th time. Actually the first time tends not to be very special.

I can't tell you if YOU are ready for the responsibilities that come along with sex. But I can tell you that if you are are mature self-confident you won't be objectified by your lover, unless you chose to be with that sort of guy. Both men and women can use their partners (male or female) as objects of pleasure -but an equal relationship is just that -with or without sex.

I wouldn't focus so much on being a virgin or not being a virgin. I would focus on being in the kind of relationship that is right for you. Be very honest in what you are looking for -are you looking for marriage- probably not. Are you looking for something long term? Something passionate and overwhelming (and probably short term)? A true partner and friend? Then try to meet guys with the same goals in the short and long term
 
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