Guilt

C

Chips

New member
Does anyone feel the guilt that I do? I have taken a day off work to give my back a rest. I have spondyloslithesis Grade 3 and my hips and lower back ache like mad. I am waiting for fusion and decompression.

I feel guilty because people who I work with (in a school) do not see the pain or e pill popping to keep the pain at bay. The pain doesnt ever go but the painkillers take the edge off it and raise spirits.

People expect me to perform as they do but I find it very difficult and need to rest every so often - especially if I have had a poor night.

There are days if I dont bend, lean, twist or overdo it when I am not so bad and in the right position or stance feel good but the hours of gnawing pain tires me out

I feel a fraud at times. I am not sure why I am posting this but feel so guilty.
 
Mr. Chips, you've uttered the same worRAB that my mother did; she eventually had decompression and fusion surgery. Because of her age, 79, and osteoporosis, she did not have too great a result.

I had the decompression and fusion done also with a pretty good result. My problem was due to spondylolisthesis, arthritis, and bulging disks.

Best wishes to you in your upcoming surgery. There is no pill that will take the pain away in the meantime.

Nancy
 
Mr Chips,
I'd be very surprised if most of us don't experience moments and days of guilt and shame. I sometimes wish my pain would, l I don't know, change the color of my skin maybe so that I could "prove" to my co-workers that I'm not loafing. But I don't wish this often because I believe the good advice I've received here and from my docs. Other people can't know what I'm going thru. They simply can't because they haven't experienced it. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I have to satisfy myself and then take care of myself. It is no one else's job to do that. My pain is real whether anyone else validates me or not. This isn't easy to accept in a society where hard labor is valued above almost anything else. If you need a rest to cope with your physical condition, rest. And rest easy, Mr. Chips, knowing you are taking responsibility for yourself. And take comfort in knowing there are people who understand. I think I do (spondy and two-time fusion patient). SQ
 
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