got any good jokes..?

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender, amazed gives the duck a beer.
"we dont get any talking ducks around here!" exclaims the bartender. "what do you do?"
"Im a plasterer"replies the duck.
Every day the duck goes in the bar at lunch time to order a beer, and one day the bartender says
"ive got the best job for you."
"oh yea?' says the duck "what is it?"
"the circus just came into town and i think you would be perfect!"
"is that the one with the big tent?" asks the duck.
"yes!'
"the one with all the tight ropes and clowns?"
"oh yes!"
"the one with all the animals in the cages?" says the duck.
"yes, thats it! well? What do you think?" asks the bartender.
the duck thinks for a moment than says "Why the F**k would they want a plasterer for?!"
 
Some guy bought a new refrigerator for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying:

"Free to good home. You want it, you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.

It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:

"Fridge for sale $50."

The next day someone stole it!
 
Q: Why dont blind people go skydiving?

A; Because it scares the hell out the dogs

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This blond girl comes into work one day crying and her boss sees her and asks her whats wrong. She replies "I just found out that my mum died" He boss said 'Oh, I'm so sorry. You didn't have to some into work today." She replied "Oh, no. It's ok. it'll keep my mind off things." Her boss said "Ok."

Later in the day, her boss sees her burst into tears again and asks"What's wrong?" The girl replies between sobs "oh, i just got a call from my sister. Her mum died too!"
 
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