My Cat Is Watching You...
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I know it needs editing, more imagery etc. that'll be sorted out later. I'm not looking for "beta" reading, so don't mention the fact it needs editing. I know it needs a lot of it.
Everything was explained earlier on in the book, and so were all the characters etc.
Book.
This is from a chapter called life, and this extract is more than halfway through the chapter.
Lily glanced at him and mimed “I’m sorry.”Eveck dismissed it; her expression showed that she clearly wasn’t. He sat down and Arieos sat next to him, she watched her sister and Mateus.”How did you bring them back?”She asked quietly, hoping no one else could hear.
“Rage, remember? I have an unlimited capacity for it, and it seems I can use it for something other than killing.”He mumbled back, not even bothering to conceal the anger in his own voice.
“I think the word that was used was unparalleled, I’m surprised by you. I never thought, not once, that I wasn’t the first...how many were there?”She commented silently, Eveck sighed and glanced at Niahm, “Just the one, there’s no need to worry anyway. You’re stronger than her now, you have destroyed any limits you had, and you cannot be stripped of your abilities; only you can do that now.”
She glanced at Eveck and thought about it for a moment, “If I’m that powerful now, that must mean you can’t read my mind, right?”She muttered, he nodded and she asked “How did you know then?”Eveck gazed at her and smiled before answering; he felt unnervingly happy, the anger had left his voice.
“Your swords, they glow slightly, and when I touched your swords before they glowed then. I have limited my mind for my own reasons, but I am still very powerful, and you have exceeded your limitations. So whenever you touch your swords they light up, and you can use your weapons to convey energy.”He paused for a moment and glanced at Ariel, she was still recovering.
“These swords were made for us, and when we break our limits, their capacity to deal damage increases significantly.”He continued, Arieos just gazed at him, she felt...lighter; like she was floating. She got up and walked away, Eveck sat there and glanced at Mateus; he was staring with an angry expression on his face.
Mateus was always very possessive and controlling when it came to Arieos, he followed her and pushed her up against a wall. Eveck watched silently, it wasn’t his business. He smiled at that thought; he was still going to listen to them. “What was that?”Mateus growled impatiently, Arieos shrugged and he repeated what he said only seconds before.
“What was what?”Arieos asked, Mateus growled incoherently and threw his arm in the direction of Eveck, “That!”He shouted, everyone had noticed now, Eveck flinched as he shouted. All eyes were on them, and the flames flickered above them.
Eveck shot up and ran towards one of the balls of flame, gazing at it, “It only flickered.”Lily grunted, there were a few knocks on the outside of the building and Eveck rasped “They’re not meant to flicker...”
Thanks.
*I just wanna know whether it makes you want to read more or not really.
I'm thinking of calling it Mortal, its not definite yet. I'm going to try and publish it.
Everything was explained earlier on in the book, and so were all the characters etc.
Book.
This is from a chapter called life, and this extract is more than halfway through the chapter.
Lily glanced at him and mimed “I’m sorry.”Eveck dismissed it; her expression showed that she clearly wasn’t. He sat down and Arieos sat next to him, she watched her sister and Mateus.”How did you bring them back?”She asked quietly, hoping no one else could hear.
“Rage, remember? I have an unlimited capacity for it, and it seems I can use it for something other than killing.”He mumbled back, not even bothering to conceal the anger in his own voice.
“I think the word that was used was unparalleled, I’m surprised by you. I never thought, not once, that I wasn’t the first...how many were there?”She commented silently, Eveck sighed and glanced at Niahm, “Just the one, there’s no need to worry anyway. You’re stronger than her now, you have destroyed any limits you had, and you cannot be stripped of your abilities; only you can do that now.”
She glanced at Eveck and thought about it for a moment, “If I’m that powerful now, that must mean you can’t read my mind, right?”She muttered, he nodded and she asked “How did you know then?”Eveck gazed at her and smiled before answering; he felt unnervingly happy, the anger had left his voice.
“Your swords, they glow slightly, and when I touched your swords before they glowed then. I have limited my mind for my own reasons, but I am still very powerful, and you have exceeded your limitations. So whenever you touch your swords they light up, and you can use your weapons to convey energy.”He paused for a moment and glanced at Ariel, she was still recovering.
“These swords were made for us, and when we break our limits, their capacity to deal damage increases significantly.”He continued, Arieos just gazed at him, she felt...lighter; like she was floating. She got up and walked away, Eveck sat there and glanced at Mateus; he was staring with an angry expression on his face.
Mateus was always very possessive and controlling when it came to Arieos, he followed her and pushed her up against a wall. Eveck watched silently, it wasn’t his business. He smiled at that thought; he was still going to listen to them. “What was that?”Mateus growled impatiently, Arieos shrugged and he repeated what he said only seconds before.
“What was what?”Arieos asked, Mateus growled incoherently and threw his arm in the direction of Eveck, “That!”He shouted, everyone had noticed now, Eveck flinched as he shouted. All eyes were on them, and the flames flickered above them.
Eveck shot up and ran towards one of the balls of flame, gazing at it, “It only flickered.”Lily grunted, there were a few knocks on the outside of the building and Eveck rasped “They’re not meant to flicker...”
Thanks.
*I just wanna know whether it makes you want to read more or not really.
I'm thinking of calling it Mortal, its not definite yet. I'm going to try and publish it.