Good night LGBT reached my limit =(?

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Imisszack

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Good night guys i cant answer any more questions i will see you tomorrow if i can. its about 12:30 so goodnight.mini poll: whats your best joke? heres mine:a man escapes from prison and breaks into a home, he ties the woman to the bed and kisses her on the neck, and walks into the bathroom. the husband tied to the chair looks over to the wife with fear and saysListen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 
Good night!Capitalism and Communism are waiting for Socialism. Socialism finally comes and says "Sorry I'm late, I was waiting on line to buy meat at the store". Capitalism asked "What is "waiting on line?"". Communism asked "What is "meat?""It sounds funnier in Russian...
 
3 men (2 straight, 1 gay) and their partners were killed in a terrible accident. All six of them arrive at the Pearly Gates. The first straight man and his wife walk up to Saint Peter and he proclaims, "I'm sorry, I cannot allow you to enter Heaven because you loved money too much. You loved it so much that you married a woman named Penny." So, the next straight man and his wife approach St. Peter. Again he says, "I'm sorry, I cannot grant you access to this sacred place. You loved food too much. You loved it so much that you married a woman named Candy." At this the gay man turned to his partner and said, "This isn't looking promising, Dick." :P
 
lol heard that but cracks me upok mine is not meant to offend 8)A gay flight attendant tells the passengers that they shall be landing soon would they please put their trays up and he notices one Asian lady hasn't put her tray up he goes over and says to her "can you please put your tray up" anyway she looks at him and says "in my country im a princess nobody gives me orders" after her remark he says "in my country im a queen i outrank you bitch tray up"btw im gay and found this funny but humor varies
 
1)When you goin to the bathroom you american and when you leave you american what are you in the bathroom eurpeaning2)a blonde,red,and a brunett was lost on a island so the brunett saw help 20 mile away so the brunett went first she swim about 5 miles and drown the red head swim about 10 miles and drown.the blonde swim 20 mile and forgot what she was there for and swim back.
 
This one is funnier when you can actually witness someone telling it, but here goes:"So there's two men driving down the highway. The driver is gay, the passenger is straight. The driver turns to the passenger and says, "Did you know gay people know everything?"The passenger protests, "No, you're just putting me on, gay people don't know everything.""All right," says the driver, "I'll prove it. In five minutes, a deer is going to run in front of the car." And sure enough, five minutes later, a deer runs in front of the car."All right, you just got lucky," the passenger says. "I still don't believe that gay people know everything.""Oh really?" says the driver. "Well, you've got two sticks of gum in the pack in your pocket, fourteen pennies in your wallet, and in twenty minutes, we are going to narrowly miss a skunk." And sure enough, everything he said turns out to be true."Wow," says the passenger. "I guess I was wrong. I guess gay people do know everything!"So the two men arrive at their destination, walk up the steps to the door and ring the-"At this point, the person telling the joke pauses and snaps their fingers as if they can't remember. When a helpful person (or people) around helpfully asks, "Doorbell?" the person telling the joke points at them and says, "Gay people know everything!"lol, I got both my siblings and a van full of people this way :)
 
(this joke can be told with either gender associated w/ the chicken & the egg...I'm a lesbian so I tell it as both being female)A chicken & an egg were laying in bed together after sex. The chicken was all relaxed, smoking a cigarette, a satisfied smirk across her face. The egg on the other hand was really pissed off. She was facing away from the chicken with her arms folded across her chest. With an exasperated sigh the egg rolls over, looks @ the chicken & says..."Well that answers THAT question!"
 
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