Goddamned Child Molesters

M

Mandy !(:

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I've been through that with my mother and her druggie friends.

I was open about it, but closed up when the shrink tried to ask me about it. I was only 5 or 6, but I don't know exactly why I didn't testify against my mother. You'd think after the fourth time she left for a weeklong bender I'd lose any respect for her. Who knows. Now she's in Florida with half a mind and even less of a kidney. Karma works in mysterious ways, I suppose.

Point is, it seems like a lot of people have been there, both my girlfriend and I at least, and a lot of people these days. Unfortunately, child molestation is becoming very, very widespread. For one person that comes forward, there are 10 that never do.
This guy will get his own in the end.
 
And that is what is sad. Almost all the women I know and a few of the men (at least the ones that will admit it) have had "incidents" happen to them. Whether it was a one time thing or years of abuse.

I went through eight years of abuse before anyone believed me. Wait, thats not true. My aunt believed me, but as long as her husband wasn't trying to fuck her she didn't care.

The feeling of humility and degredation is something you carry with you for your whole life. She needs to speak with a professional about this, even if he didn't abuse her, she is dealing with the fact that her father screwed around with her friends. What you can do is just be there for her to talk to if and when she wants to. You can't fix it but you can just be there for her.
 
Lots of points have been raised.

For the victims of sexual abuse, nothing makes it go away. It's a scar they carry for life. Many end up being abusers themselves. There's not much I can say on that account. Just stand up and be there for her. She probably doesn't need some masculine show of machismo. She probably needs a shoulder to cry on and a hug that'll make her feel safe. It's OK to be angry and pissed off. But in front of her you need to stay calm, be in control and remember that SHE is the one that's dealing with it, you're just watching her deal.

Double jeopardy means he can't be tried twice for the same crime. But each incident would count as a separate crime. 6 victims, 6 crimes. 1 victim 6 times, 6 crimes. There are two reasons you can't be tried for the same crime multiple times. The first is that if you are tried and get off, they could just keep retrying you until you were convicted. The second is that if they could just keep retrying you, they wouldn't have to take a lot of time to build the initial case.

Under our system they basically need to do it right the first time because it's there only shot. It's also why most criminals face many many charges but are only ever tried for a few. That way if they can't nail you for the first few crimes they always have a fall back option. They'll usually try you for the bigger crimes first, and if that fails they can go for the lesser shit.

The reason you shouldn't advocate vigilante justice is because it doesn't work. More often than not innocent people are attacked by vigilantes. A 12 year old is pissed off at dad so she decides to claim sex abuse and the vigilantes kill daddy. Thing is daddy never did it, she just wasn't allowed to play XBox. (It actually happened minus the vigilantes.) A man is accused of rape, and the vigilantes castrate him. Except it wasn't him. The law should be an emotionless bitch. It needs to be cold, calculating, contemplative and above all not reactionary in the heat of the moment.

Can you rehab an abuser? That depends on the abuser and why they did it. Some are just sick as hell. But what about the ones that were abused themselves? Study after study has shown that children that are abused may often times become abusers in their later lives simply because it's what they now. There's a rather large difference in my mind between someone who gets his rocks off raping children and someone that frankly doesn't know better because that's how it was when they grew up. The crime is still heinous but the motivation behind it should be taken into account.

I know that when you're faced with things like this it's hard to remain cool and detached. It's easy to let your emotions run over the top of you. But justice is never served when you're not in control of the emotions. Take a step back, try to remove yourself from the situation (mentally) for a minute and see if you can't look at it in a different light. In this case try to remember that it's not about you or your reactions, it's about the girlfriend and what she needs from you.
 
This is why the right people should do it. Like out of work veteran detectives, someone that could figure out if the person committed the crime through careful, calculated investigation, and then be judge, jury, and executioner. BAM. Justice.

I'm just saying there should be none of this jury trial bull shit because criminals rarely get what they deserve. These bastards should plead their case at gunpoint and let those that find out what really happened be the judge.
 
Justice is never served by a vigilante. Ever. Justice is served by impartiality.



You just described most of the 3rd world and Nazi Concentration camps. I'm not sure that's a trade I'd be willing to make.

But let me ask you this: instead of a reactive legal system like we have, why not a pro-active legal system? Instead of always reacting to crimes why don't we ever try to PREVENT them? We call our reactions deterrent, yet crime rates hold fairly steady...
 
No. I'm asking you if it makes sense to react to crime, or prevent crime.

The legal system has checks and balances to make sure that no person or group ends up with too much power. The vigilante system hands ALL of that power into the hands of a few people who operate without oversight.

Vigilante justice = war lords.
 
She and her friends are going to suffer whether or not I'm supportive. My support doesn't mean shit.

That's really the crux of my angst over this. You say the justice system has to be a cold bitch to work. But these are fucking kids we're talking about. How can a child feel safe if someone--a parent, for fuck's sake--goes and does something like this and then no one backs them up? They don't ever see their tormentor get punished. That's really it. It's so fucking unfair for the victims. My girlfriend and her friends can't ever trust anyone again. Hell, she doesn't even trust me. And no one's going to help them because legally he didn't do it.

On an only slightly related note, I don't understand why it's so much more important to make sure innocents don't get punished than it is to make sure the guilty don't go free. My stance is that if you're in a position where someone's accusing you of molestation, even if you're innocent of that, you obviously did SOMETHING to make someone really pissed off.

Sorry to digress. Anyway, you've all repeated some of the points I'm trying to make. No amount of crime prevention will ever help my girlfriend and her friends out, so I don't even want to fucking hear about it. What's done is done, and that's what's killing me, because I'm so fucking powerless. All I'm wishing for here is for someone, maybe me, maybe someone else, to show these girls that there's really justice in the world and he'll suffer grievously for his crimes. Problem is, I'm not the type to just shrug it off and say "Ah, he'll go to hell for it." I don't believe in that bullshit. Someone's got to stand up for them. To really be on their side would be to punish their tormentor instead of letting him go live his cushy life while they suffer mentally for what HE did to THEM through no fault of their own.

:emo:
 
You may not think your support is worth shit, but believe me, it probobly means the world to her. But you've got to get a hold on that anger, at least around her. You may want to consider talking to a professional too, just to have someone help you get control of your emotions.
 
Double jeapordy means that you cannot be convicted of a crime you were already convicted of. It does not, however, prevent a re-trial in light of new evidence. I suggest contacting local child services divisions who know more about such matters.
 
It'll mean the world to her. You may not see it but it WILL make a difference.



Nobody ever said it was fair my friend. Kids pay the price for many of their parents since in life. Fair never even comes into it. And no matter how punished the man is, she'll STILL have the scars from it and she'll STILL have the trust issues.



But really pissing someone off doesn't make you guilty of anything. I really pissed my ex off by breaking up with her. Seriously pissed her off. But I committed no crime did I? That's why you can't just assume someone is guilty because someone else says so. That's why we have a system of checks to make sure. It doesn't always work and often time it fails miserably.



True, but the logic that says "crime prevention won't undo it" is the same logic that says "punishing him won't undo it." You're right, it can't be taken back, it can't be undone. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be pro-active for the next kids to come along.

The legal system is screwed up. But vigilanteism isn't a legal system at all.
 
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