girlfriend doesn't look forward to sex?

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Cody T

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now we've been dating for a year, and my girlfriend doesn't ever seem very sexual. she thinks it might mean that we aren't meant to be. but anyways she can't ever orgasm without clitoral stimulation, and i know that irritates her. so everytime we have sex i have to use my fingers while we are doing it. i didn't think it was a big deal, but it is to her. and now it's becoming a main factor in our possible permanent seperation

we thought the problem was due to the side effects of birth control, but she stopped taking the pills last month and we tried having sex and she let me know the next day that she never really enjoys sex.

she says she wouldn't ever really ask to have sex, and she only does it with me when i ask because she know it means a lot more to me than just how good it feels(i think it's a healthy part of a healthy relationship)

i know i'm very good in bed, i'm not trying to sound concieted, but she was always amazed at how good i was at it

it's also really hard to get her in the mood, i know she enjoys being played with, whether its oral or using my fingers. she just doesn't enjoy actual intercourse

any suggestions? i need something to explain why she feels like this, i'm not really looking for any pointers as to do next time we have sex, becuase there might not be a next time =(
edit-i got her to orgasm once from intercourse, (few months ago)but she didn't think it felt as good, and never gives me a chance to do it anymore. she also doesn't like that it takes a long time

i think she also has some sort of nerve/bladder problem, whenever she tries to go on top, or whenever we do doggy style, she feels like she needs to urinate
another edit-well we had sex one night when we got drunk together, about a month before we started dating, she still had feelings for another guy, and she said she kinda liked me, but i eventually asked her out, and she said she would give it a shot, and it turned out amazingly, but other than this, she feels like she kind of misses flirting with guys, and she thinks we weren't meant to be together because she said she never felt butterflies around me, but i explained to her that youg et butterflies when you are nervous around the person you like, but we were already connected so she was never nervous
 
I think that maybe she is having some issues with her sexuality. As women, when we grow up with all of the images around us, we are expected to be this porn goddess. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable living up to such an image. In my humble opinion, she probably just needs to get more comfortable with her sexuality and her body. She should try to make herself orgasm, so that she gets used to the feeling. She should try to do this on her own so that she can control it and she knows what to expect.

As for the urination problem, many women say that they feel like they have to urinate right before they're going to orgasm, or as they are getting aroused. That is completely normal, and just pushing through that sensation will make the benefit that much more enjoyable.
 
I think she doesn't like intercourse. for whatever reason, it is not a big turn on for her.

My suggestion is that you sit down at the table and tell her that this sex issue is driving a wedge between the both of you. You are not going to force her to have sex with you and would like to explore just being friends instead
 
I think that this becoming an issue for breaking up is a bad sign. Sounds like its just an excuse.

I can tell you this. Every women is different. A women who has an orgasm easily will look forward to it and want to do it often because they know they will have the end result. A women who doesnt orgasm easily will not really think of it the same way because they know they probably wont have the end result.

It really depends where a womens clitoris is located. Some women can climax with just intercourse because the man rubs against her clitoris during sex. Those who cant need to learn how to get to that point. It takes being with someone for along time and being comfortable with that person enough to try different things.

I have been married for 15 yrs and it got much better with time because we learned as a couple what works. I suggest "if she is comfortable with it" getting a toy. That way she can always have that end result. Food for thought though are your problems really because of sex?
 
A lot of things can make a female take a long time. stress, fatigue, depression. for example. try a to do some things together that might be a little different. spice it up. also, if she feels the need to pee, it might actually be the g- spot. it can produce a need to urinate. she should just continue when she gets that feeling, it could bring on a vaginal orgasm without the need for clitoral stimulation. but be careful, if you try all this and she keeps saying stuff about other guys or she thinks it is a reason to separate, she may have something else on her mind, a.k.a. another guy.
 
Reading that was really freaky because you pretty much just described the relationship of me and my boyfriend who have also been together for a year.

I personally haven't really cared about having an orgasm during intercourse, I'm just happy that he can enjoy intercourse.

I'm on the pill also and I've found that it decreases my sex drive heaps. That could perhaps be one of the problems.

Anyway now my relationship is fine and I'm enjoying intercourse a lot more since we stopped having sex for about 3 weeks and then we went away on holidays together while we were away we got to learn new things about each others bodies and experiment a bit.

So basically I suggest that you either stop having sex for a little, and then experiment a little more in your sex life.

Also you can buy vibrators that are a ring that goes around your penis during sex to stimulate her clitoris, that could be better than using your hands.
 
ohh that kindas suckks the natrual spark should be there maybe shes not attracted to yu
 
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