P
Positive Vibes
Guest
...previously & hesitates to see me)? A girl I've known around 3.5 years, for the last 2 years at least she's called me every day, usually it's often throughout the day too.
We've been through a lot to the point where she had massive intense feelings for me & unknown to me she had them a while, however since then she got confused (which to me the reason I feel this happened is because she has this shallow idea of what she wants in a guy & since these kind of people came onto the scene it's since then the confusion kicked in), this confusion lasted around 4 months of her not being able to say yes to me but couldn't say no ... on top of this she hesitated to see me & it's still that way now, even though about 5 weeks ago she confirmed to me "It's a best friend thing" however I'm not so sure as you can see a best friend easily, yet she hesitates to see me, saying it was for my feelings (which is B.S. because she's done other stuff that doesn't consider them) however when I once said "Right I'm coming to see you then & we'll find out" I got a lightning fast text reply saying something about how I know she feels uncomfortable with it.
Now I take on board what she says, she says we are resolved at her side, then we are resolved, so since then I've not been showing any of my feelings & I won't do either while in this situation, as much as these little things keep happening in this past 5 weeks since I haven't done, I still see it as although it's a good thing, it's not enough as it's not really bringing us together, however please read through these little happenings & let me know what you think (baring in mind theirs one guy on the scene who she's pretty much been seeing yet for some strange reason she's not got into a relationship with him, though that doesn't mean she won't do but it is a bit bizarre considering), though here's some events in the past 5 weeks since she said "Yeah it's friends"
1. She's still calling me every day, it was often just cut down to the once, from numerous times as always at the beginning, though still called me.
2. She would go to her friends house & be there with her friend, the father of her friends kid & the baby, yet while there she randomly called me & said "Just wanted to phone you" - It was nice, yet it was a pointless call really for about a minuite or so, while with friends she should be occupied really.
3. She started this training course thing & the calls became more frequent, for example ... as she left the house on a morning, when she got off the bus, on her first break, then on her dinner pretty much throughout the dinner hour (unless she met someone for lunch however she would then often ring me before she went back in anyway, even if that was for 30 seconds), thn on her afternoon break, then on her way home & fairly often in the evening too.
4. She then had this strange thing where she was certain I'd text her (at this point I hadn't for about 4 weeks, shown any feelings nothing), she thought I'd just text her asking her if she was ok & then wasn't sure if she'd dreamt it or not, I think at this point too this guy had been with her a lot also, yet that still happened.
5. This guy that she's pretty much seeing, he comes across really obsessive or something, he is always hanging up on her and spitting his dummy out (For example she was on her night shift at work once & he'd given her 5 missed calls, she rang him back to find out why and he'd got into another fight, asked her where she was & if she had her car, she said no, explained etc.. & he hung up on her (even though he should know where she is really)), she's been out with friends before, including him & she went outside for a cig & while out there she called me, even while out with him, which must say she is thinking about me to do that right?
6. We had a conversation where I was feeling a bit shitty, I didn't make a habit of showing this however being human it obviously showed, we barely have shitty convo's at all, it's because of the situation that brought this upon, she said to me something about sorting out things there (IE bags) & she'll ring me back, I knew she wasn't going to & she didn't, however that night she was doing a night shift & early hours on her break she called me. picked up the vibe I was happier then & the conversation was very uplifting, she was like "I'll ring you when I finish" which sounded really forward, I said it was ok & she did do bang on 7am as she got out.
7. A couple of nights after I was feeling a little that way & the conversation was a bit shitty. she said to me (as she usually does) "I'll ring you when I get off the bus", she doesn't like talking on the phone while on the bus, prefers to listen to music or something then rings me when she gets off, however soon as she sat down on the bus she rang me.
8. At this new job theirs some guy that comes in that everyone apparently fancies, she was telling me a story about one of her boss's having banter with her about him & soon as she said about this fit guy (who is in those lines of the shallow thing I mentioned) it was like she defended it straight away to me by saying "He's fit but it's not like that for me" & "I don't look at him like that", it felt like she was really getting that point across to me, like too much after she'd said about how everyone fancies him there.
9. She's been calling me a lot lately, like during the day a lot too (unless she's sleeping from her night shift), she usually calls me on her way to work every night, which I can put down to routine, but when she's calling me as she wakes up sometimes, and then when she's got home from work too quite a lot does confirm to me that at least it's not a conveniance thing anyway.
10. She seemed to recently avoid talking about this guy (& a couple of others that have been creeping around her) when usually she would mention them, like she was saying about her night shifts not being able to go out with friends etc... where as she'd usually mention this guy & that circle pretty much first off, she was mentioning friends that don't go out with her as often & not mentioning them at all (until she did tonight but I expected that at some point anyway)
11. She sometimes records our phone conversations & listens to them back.
All this is originally what showed she liked me, yet I didnt see it, it's very conflicting, I'm not silly & don't hold on to hope though ever since I've not shown my feelings in the last 5 weeks, these kinda things have happened.
Pls don't give me the whole you're doomed crap as she still hesitated to see me & calls me so much, it's very contradicting, yet is that really a best friend thing?
I know she's been hurt and said maybe she isn't ready for a serious relationship but I dunno, even the way she sometimes speaks (tone of voice) it kinda gives that "Hmmm" thing, but at the same time, it's not bringing us together right now so as far as I'm concerned, it's not really good enough ain't all this.
However, what are your thoughts please, is all this really what you would call a 'Best Friend' situation ... really? Or am I missing the point here? Remember SHE calls me, I NEVER contact her first & SHE was the one who had intense feelings for me in the first place for a long time too, then took 4 months of confusion for her to to say "Friends" .. yet things like the above still happen, it's strange & I don't know if theirs a hidden reason (Like the Britney song 'Sometimes' for example), I dunno???
I hope some people can read this with a bit of understanding rather than just straight dismissing by the way too, as I appreciate that, it's so easy to dismiss I know, but this is genuine here, it's not like I'm the one chasing her, even though I keep trying to tell myself too in my head that its over but things like the above keep happening & surely it's not all coincidence right? (I know we can all be guilty of reading into things too much also which is what I try tell myself too)
We've been through a lot to the point where she had massive intense feelings for me & unknown to me she had them a while, however since then she got confused (which to me the reason I feel this happened is because she has this shallow idea of what she wants in a guy & since these kind of people came onto the scene it's since then the confusion kicked in), this confusion lasted around 4 months of her not being able to say yes to me but couldn't say no ... on top of this she hesitated to see me & it's still that way now, even though about 5 weeks ago she confirmed to me "It's a best friend thing" however I'm not so sure as you can see a best friend easily, yet she hesitates to see me, saying it was for my feelings (which is B.S. because she's done other stuff that doesn't consider them) however when I once said "Right I'm coming to see you then & we'll find out" I got a lightning fast text reply saying something about how I know she feels uncomfortable with it.
Now I take on board what she says, she says we are resolved at her side, then we are resolved, so since then I've not been showing any of my feelings & I won't do either while in this situation, as much as these little things keep happening in this past 5 weeks since I haven't done, I still see it as although it's a good thing, it's not enough as it's not really bringing us together, however please read through these little happenings & let me know what you think (baring in mind theirs one guy on the scene who she's pretty much been seeing yet for some strange reason she's not got into a relationship with him, though that doesn't mean she won't do but it is a bit bizarre considering), though here's some events in the past 5 weeks since she said "Yeah it's friends"
1. She's still calling me every day, it was often just cut down to the once, from numerous times as always at the beginning, though still called me.
2. She would go to her friends house & be there with her friend, the father of her friends kid & the baby, yet while there she randomly called me & said "Just wanted to phone you" - It was nice, yet it was a pointless call really for about a minuite or so, while with friends she should be occupied really.
3. She started this training course thing & the calls became more frequent, for example ... as she left the house on a morning, when she got off the bus, on her first break, then on her dinner pretty much throughout the dinner hour (unless she met someone for lunch however she would then often ring me before she went back in anyway, even if that was for 30 seconds), thn on her afternoon break, then on her way home & fairly often in the evening too.
4. She then had this strange thing where she was certain I'd text her (at this point I hadn't for about 4 weeks, shown any feelings nothing), she thought I'd just text her asking her if she was ok & then wasn't sure if she'd dreamt it or not, I think at this point too this guy had been with her a lot also, yet that still happened.
5. This guy that she's pretty much seeing, he comes across really obsessive or something, he is always hanging up on her and spitting his dummy out (For example she was on her night shift at work once & he'd given her 5 missed calls, she rang him back to find out why and he'd got into another fight, asked her where she was & if she had her car, she said no, explained etc.. & he hung up on her (even though he should know where she is really)), she's been out with friends before, including him & she went outside for a cig & while out there she called me, even while out with him, which must say she is thinking about me to do that right?
6. We had a conversation where I was feeling a bit shitty, I didn't make a habit of showing this however being human it obviously showed, we barely have shitty convo's at all, it's because of the situation that brought this upon, she said to me something about sorting out things there (IE bags) & she'll ring me back, I knew she wasn't going to & she didn't, however that night she was doing a night shift & early hours on her break she called me. picked up the vibe I was happier then & the conversation was very uplifting, she was like "I'll ring you when I finish" which sounded really forward, I said it was ok & she did do bang on 7am as she got out.
7. A couple of nights after I was feeling a little that way & the conversation was a bit shitty. she said to me (as she usually does) "I'll ring you when I get off the bus", she doesn't like talking on the phone while on the bus, prefers to listen to music or something then rings me when she gets off, however soon as she sat down on the bus she rang me.
8. At this new job theirs some guy that comes in that everyone apparently fancies, she was telling me a story about one of her boss's having banter with her about him & soon as she said about this fit guy (who is in those lines of the shallow thing I mentioned) it was like she defended it straight away to me by saying "He's fit but it's not like that for me" & "I don't look at him like that", it felt like she was really getting that point across to me, like too much after she'd said about how everyone fancies him there.
9. She's been calling me a lot lately, like during the day a lot too (unless she's sleeping from her night shift), she usually calls me on her way to work every night, which I can put down to routine, but when she's calling me as she wakes up sometimes, and then when she's got home from work too quite a lot does confirm to me that at least it's not a conveniance thing anyway.
10. She seemed to recently avoid talking about this guy (& a couple of others that have been creeping around her) when usually she would mention them, like she was saying about her night shifts not being able to go out with friends etc... where as she'd usually mention this guy & that circle pretty much first off, she was mentioning friends that don't go out with her as often & not mentioning them at all (until she did tonight but I expected that at some point anyway)
11. She sometimes records our phone conversations & listens to them back.
All this is originally what showed she liked me, yet I didnt see it, it's very conflicting, I'm not silly & don't hold on to hope though ever since I've not shown my feelings in the last 5 weeks, these kinda things have happened.
Pls don't give me the whole you're doomed crap as she still hesitated to see me & calls me so much, it's very contradicting, yet is that really a best friend thing?
I know she's been hurt and said maybe she isn't ready for a serious relationship but I dunno, even the way she sometimes speaks (tone of voice) it kinda gives that "Hmmm" thing, but at the same time, it's not bringing us together right now so as far as I'm concerned, it's not really good enough ain't all this.
However, what are your thoughts please, is all this really what you would call a 'Best Friend' situation ... really? Or am I missing the point here? Remember SHE calls me, I NEVER contact her first & SHE was the one who had intense feelings for me in the first place for a long time too, then took 4 months of confusion for her to to say "Friends" .. yet things like the above still happen, it's strange & I don't know if theirs a hidden reason (Like the Britney song 'Sometimes' for example), I dunno???
I hope some people can read this with a bit of understanding rather than just straight dismissing by the way too, as I appreciate that, it's so easy to dismiss I know, but this is genuine here, it's not like I'm the one chasing her, even though I keep trying to tell myself too in my head that its over but things like the above keep happening & surely it's not all coincidence right? (I know we can all be guilty of reading into things too much also which is what I try tell myself too)