future grandfather in-law issues?

[BUFFCHICK25]

Ok, to make a long story short (er) I am having issues with my fiances grandfather. I don't think he thinks I am good enough for his grandson and he thinks that I tell his grandson what to do and he gets mad about it. This past holiday we decided to split our time up amongst ar 2 families. His mom does breakfast with the family and that goes all the way to dinner. So we decided to do breakfast there and stay until 3 and then head to my families. His grandfather didnt arrive until about 1, but knew we had to leave at 3. We both have the whole week off so we decided to try and make an effort to go and spend time with them later this week. I knew they would have an issue with this because at thanksgiving we did a similar tihng and he got mad at me telling me that he would talk to his grandson and that blood is tihcker then water. when he did talk to his grandson (Jason) Jason told him that this is how we are doing it and sorry. So anyway, they get there, he makes acomment about how Jason needs to grow some I inform him this was a thought out process by the 2 of us and we both made the decession to split it this way and then he said well the only reason he agreed to it was because I (enter bad "f" word here ) him. I was offended told I was, he said I need to accept he is opinionated, I told him I wasn't going to be insulted, then Jason got mad at him and then he apologized. The problem is I can't do this every holiday. He i general is a rude person and makes awful comments to me, told me it was a mistake jason was marrying me in the past and now we find out his cancer has come back and I am willing to sweep it under the rug and move on and be there for his grandfather and Jason is still upset. How do I deal with this? Any advice?

 

[N3RD]

do you love your fiance? that's all you can do. you can't MAKE someone like you. just kill him with kindness. your fiance needs to stand up to him if he really cares.

 

[Brutally Honest]

Hate to be blunt, but he's old, he WILL eventually die, and you just have to suck it up and tolerate his asinine, crotchety behavior until such time as he finds his 3x6 resting place.

Old jerks like that never change. You can either let it slide off you or you can let it irk the sh!t out of you. For your own peace of mind and sanity, I'd opt for choice A if I were you.

 

[Invisigoth]

you deal with it by distancing yourself from dear old grandpa dearest and keep in mind he probably doesn't have much time left.

your BF is handling this correctly. He stands up for you when grandpa gets out of line.

 

[roader9]

You owe his grandfather nothing. You do owe your husband support, though. Let your husband make the decision on how to handle his grandpa, and you just be civil at family functions. Do not give grandpa any ammunition to use against you. If his grandpa is rude or offensive then you have every right to leave the party. Communicate with your husband often, but not naggingly, about everything. Make a game plan ahead of time. Try and be a good wife, and he will be the husband that you want him to be.