Funny Dad Jokes


New member
  • Did you hear that laughing too loudly is illegal in Hawaii? They only permit a-low-ha.
  • I hate my job — all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
  • Mom keeps asking why I have so much candy. She doesn't know I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve.
  • I found a wooden shoe in my toilet — it was clogged.
  • If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled?
  • I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
  • I only know 25 letters of the alphabet — I just don't know y.
  • My dream job is to clean mirrors, because I can really see myself doing that.
  • I lost 25% of my roof last night...oof.