Fucking Asshole!

R

Refs09

New member
ok its not often i post in here, but i just wanna rant about this and leave it be. no need to respond.
my girls dad is leaving tomorrow to go to calgary for a few weeks with his GF. so he calls toight to say bye to the girls and let me know when he'll be back. my older daughter talks to him and asks if he would take her cause shes never gone on holidays with him ever before, and wanted to see calgary. the fucking asshole couldn't even be nice to her about it! alls he can tell her is no bloody way is he taking kids with him. so she got off the phone bawling her eyes out and heart broken. i was gonna tell him off, but i know damn well he'd never take them with him anywhere, so i thought its better to stay out of it and let him do this on his own. i hate him hurting her like this, but every time i protect her by not letting her ask him, she kinda blames me. so i hate being stuck in the position the fucking prick leaves me in, and i hate that he can't or won't do things like that with the girls. its not bad enough that he dosen't help mr with them that much and hes a selfish prick, but does he have to hurt his kids so much?
the part that kills me is that she wants to live with him next year, for a year. shes bound and determind too. what she dosen't get is that he won't be able to do as much for her as what i do. nor will he take her anywhere. i've never hated anyone as much as i hate my ex!
 
I'm sorry for your situation, it sucks.

Kids are dumb. That's why parents, real parents, discipline and try to teach them right from wrong, and stupid from smart. Unfortunately many of them assume you are lying to them, especially teens, and they just have to fuck up on their own to really feel the bad shit for themselves. It's sad. I'm sorry your daughter is bound and determined to experience the "grass is always greener" syndrome for herself. How much that sucks, you well know. But talking about it is useless once someone stops listening.

It sounds like their father has given up on being their father. This is easier, and more common, for men than women. It seems quite easy for some to just sperm and run. I'm sorry for every women who doesn't understand that men can have kids, but not HAVE kids, if you know what I mean.

I'm sorry for your pain, and I can only say that I hope it gets better. The more happiness in the world, the more happiness in the world, there is no down side to that.

Good luck.
 
Wow Nymph that's horrible, Can I go kick him in the balls for you or her even PWEASE?

Ok, to be serious. You are stuck in a position, so you need to let him know this, even if he acts all wierd about it, least you let him know that he can't hurt his own kids like that.

But really it's a tough one, because he isn't going to change, ya know why? It's so easy not to.
People don't wanna change, but they can't be bothered and it's easier for their happiness to just sit back and not do anything for anyone else. Hopefully he will realise he will have to be there for them later on in life, I mean especially when they get in their teens, they will be trying to see him or, they will realise that he was a bastard and everything will go haywire. :frown:
 
i'm happy to read all your advices. my ex will never change, i know him better then anyone ever shall. yay lucky me :frown:
my ex is selfish, he thinks only of himself, he used to be a bad alchy too, but with his new gf he has sobered up a bit. i know he loves the kids, in his weird kind of way. but no he can't be a father, he dosen't know how. alls he knows how to do is think of himself :confuse:.
my daughter is 9, shes confused and loves her father very much. she always fears that i won't let her see him and justly so. believe me, i have kept them from him many times to protect them. in the end, me and her have many heart to hearts, we discuss it all. but i can't stop her from loving her dad, her future with him is her choice to make, not mine. she is a highly intellagent little girl and one day she will walk away from him. just not yet, she still needs him. so for now, i watch, step in when i have to to protect her. one day she'll make the chaoice to walk away from him, untill then i'll pick her back up, dust her off, wipe away her tears, make sure she knows how much i love her and carry on.
 
i understand somewhat how you feel. my parents divorced when i was 6 and my father was like that. i can remember similar situations from when i was that age (9) and younger. what ive come to realize is that my mom didn't want to tell me that my father was the way he was. i liked my dad, and i think that it would have hurt me more if my mom just said that he was a jerk.
 
Hon, that's really fucked up. Dead beat dads are the worst.

Think about sending your daughter to therapy before she spends the rest of her life trying to get back the father she never had.

I'm sorry you've gone and are going through this. It's very hard to work through. You're a good mum even if she doesn't think so right now.
 
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