Fuck coming up with a creative title. I just need to rant about my life.

1

14T

New member
I need to get this off my chest. Feel free to yell at me for how stupid my problems are, I already get that all the time.

Somtimes... I really hate my life. Both of my computers were broken at the same time for an overlapping period of five days. I've never gone that long without a computer before. Ever. The TV in the family room of my house is broken as of yesterday, so is the microwave. None of the VCR's or DVD players in the house work right. For the past week I've had nothing to do but sleep, because God knows, I have no social life. I have two good friends IRL. Two people I actually trust to come within ten feet of me. But, when I say good friends, I mean, on my end. I'm not really what they'd consider a good friend. They don't really care about me, at least as far as I could tell. And no one try and tell me to get better friends, because I've tried that. It didn't work.

And then there's the emotional problems I'm having. I'm involved in a releationship with a girl I love with all my heart (yes, I'm a lesbian. Fucking deal with it.), yet I find myself crushing on my best friend. Who happens to be a guy. Which, on top of making me confused as Hell about why I'm crushing on someone in the first place, forces me to question my sexuality as well.

Yeah... there's a bunch of other shit too, but I'm losing the willpower required to keep my firngers moving. Feel free to toss any comments, questions, insults, pies, fireballs, anvils, houses, or grenades you want at me.
 
It seems to me that you're clinging to anybody who is even remotely nice to you. This is probably why you are crushing on both your male friend and your female friend. On top of this, you should take this downtime as an opportunity to find friends. I don't care if you say you can't find one. Everybody can. You seem to be at terms with your nerdyness. If this is the case, go to a nerdy place like a card store, a manga/anime store, whatever, and talk to somebody. I'm sure that if you do this you'll make a friend in no time (this is assuming you don't smell bad and you're not a jerk, but from your post I conclude that you aren't a jerk, so just take a shower before you leave? :happysad: ). Nobody should be lonely, regardless of how shitty a person they are.

PS. You're sexy. ;)
 
;845831']There's no such thing as lesbians. Just women who will never get a chance to sleep with me.

On a serious note, Alexia- I advise you to examine what your definition of "love" really is. Perhaps this guy has a way of appealing to your heart that no one else does. Can you deny your emotions, really?

Think about it. Spend some time with your friend (the dude) and then think about this lesbian thing. One of my cousins is a lesbian, and she has dated a few guys here and there... just go with your heart.
 
@ Cheese: I used to have friends and a social life... sorta... but then the friendly neighborhood gamer's club and anime club both died.
And... well... I tend to act a lot differently online then IRL. I mean... I can be a real bitch to be around. I'm all cute and cuddly and crap alot of the time on forums and messangers, but I'm like my own antithesis when I'm not in front of a computer.
 
Sorry to start this with a cliche, but nobody is perfect. That is not to say that one shouldn't strive to be perfect though. And if not perfect, near it. Whenever you find that you're being unreasonable, and everybody is at one time or another, apologize and correct yourself. Whenever you find that you're being mean, apologize and correct yourself. Whenever you're being pushed around, defend yourself. Don't be a pansy, but try to be the nicest you can be. When it comes to apologizing, it doesn't matter if its 02983475029387450978435 years late, just do it because it'll still mean something to the person who was wronged.

Also, about those friendly neighborhood gaming places being shut down, start a new one! You do go to school right? I mean, you are 16. So bring a game system to school and put it in a class which 1, has a TV, and 2, has a nice teacher. (also bring controllers and find someplace to put it which is out of the way, say a closet) Then invite people to play during lunch. I'm sure you'll meet some friends that way. You could also go to your local arcade and start a game with somebody your age. While you're playing, strike up a conversation and get to know the other person. You'll probably meet a lot of jerks this way, but I guarantee there'll be some nice people in there. Again, nobody deserves to be lonely.
 
@ FireAngel: I'm working on it. I'm working on changing just about every damn thing about myself. But it's hard. I have to undo an entire 16 years of built up bad habits, hygeine, and health.
 
@ Cheese: That's what I meant when I said clubs. Like, afterschool clubs. Y'know. They died because people just.. stopped attending. Then the club presidents said, "Fuck this." and stopped attending too. And when there's no club president, there can't be a club. o.o
 
Can't you start your own club? If not, then is there a gym or PC bong near your school (like within 5-10 mins of walking)? If there is, then go there afterschool for about an hour everyday. Look for kids your age, and, when you find one, and you will, strike up a conversation. You can also look for local clubs on the web. Nobody should be lonely. Nobody.

EDIT: Oh, and double-posting is a felony here. Instead of posting to include something that you forgot, click on the "edit" button on the bottom right of your post and edit your post.
 
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