Freaking Out - Day 5 off Subutex

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Razumikhin

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Hi Everyone,

It's been a while since I've been here - many months.

This is the end of day five off Subutex, and it was the best of days, and the worst of days. A while back I tapered (mostly) off of Percocets, then went to Hydro, and then realized that I could not take any time at all off work to finish the job. As Reach pointed out to me months ago, the goal is to "step" off the taper, not jump. For me, the step was off the Brooklyn Bridge (no not literally!). So, I discussed the idea of buprenorphine with my MD, and he agreed to try it. Long story short, it's been a couple of months, and I told him last week I no longer wished to take opiates for my chronic pain. I had tapered the Sub dose to about .25mg from 4mg over that time and last week stopped.

I feel basically crummy, but it could be alot worse. The reason I'm freaking out, though, is not due to the Sub. Several weeks ago I started to get panic attacks and my insomnia got much worse, no doubt due to the taper. I also found that I'm hypothyroid. So I started supplementing the Arabien I take with .5mg Ativan nightly, sometimes substituting .25mg Valium. I'm paranoid about getting hooked on benzos, and did not take them every night, until recently (e.g. last week). This week I've taken small doses once or twice during the day to deal with Sub w/d. My goal is to be off ALL drugs except for vitamin I (Ibuprofen) and the thyroid med. And to add insult to injury, I've been taking Carac (5-Flourouricil) for precancerous lesions on my face, and not only does it look like I'm an extra in a George Romero movie, it hurts like heck. It also severely limits the exercise I can get for the next week. So...

I'm really worried that I'm going to get physically dependent on the benzos. It's the last thing I want or need, but they keep me from freaking out and I'm taking the lowest possible doses. Can anyone tell me if I'm screwed or if I'm overreacting? I absolutely HATE insomnia. I've been taking Arabien nightly (10-12.5mg) for several years and I know it will not be easy to stop, but I've never really abused it. I want to stop taking the benzos sometime over the next 2-4 days, or sooner. Can I just stop taking them, or do I need to taper? What's the most I should consider taking, with zero being the objective?

I'm so exhausted just from worrying about it. The good news is I'm in total pain, but am not craving opiates. How bout them apples! Still worring about PAWS, though :-(.

Thanks for listening to my rant, guys. I'm sorry I've not been around more.

Best wishes to everyone!

Raz
 
your overreactin,trust me when i say i know about benzos.I will make a deal with you,only take .25 once a weeknd i promise youll be ok.If you see yourself cheating the promise is off and your playing with the devil,trust me brother.Benzos r for crazy people like myself,or very stong anxiety disorders,which you dont have.If you keep the promise youll be ok,if you dont all bets r off,and youll lose.This sounRAB like preaching,i didnt attend to.GOOD LUCK BROTHER.
 
Tony,

Thanks for putting it into perspective. I believe I dodged a bullet. I stopped taking the benzos several days ago, and while I don't feel great, its probably just the sub w/d.

Best Wishes,

Raz
 
I'm still withdrawling from suboxone, 45 days after I stopped. However, I didn't taper like you did over 2 months, but instead over five days. Also, I was opiate dependent for over 20 years, with 15 on both methadone and heroin. Still, i've never had a withdrawal experience like this one. Not very intense, but it keeps on going, just like the Energizer bunny. It may be because I transitioned from methadone to suboxone without ever truly going through the meth kick, and am really feeling its delayed effects. Or again, it may be the lenghth of my use, and the fact that I'm coming off of a really weird drug. One thing that's surpsied me--very few cravings. I wonder if a year on suboxone has temporarily rewired my brain.

PS BTW, I took small doses of benzos to address my withdrawal symptoms for the 1st five days. The next day I'd wake up inevitably feeling worse It seems implausible that a benzo would interfere with the process of restarting the body's natural production of endorphins, but then again I know little about the neurochemistry of addiction, and less about the way suboxone/buprenorphine works.
 
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