Hi there, Tyler
Buddy, it does get better each day; it will not be all better for a while yet (and I think that is what we are all hoping for so desperately when we start).
I journaled a lot as I tapered and detoxed off Oxycodone and then Xanax. In the beginning, I thought I must be very different from others because I sure didn't see any progress in feeling better. Then I started really reading backwarRAB in my journal and suddenly the proof was there for me in black and white. It was in small baby steps, small baby steps. I was crying a bit less each day, was having stretches moments longer of calmness each day. I was focused a bit more each day. And each day, that tiny, tiny glimmer of hope began to get just a bit brighter.
The sense of desperation and torment will truly abate... in baby steps for a while and eventually in bigger and bigger steps. It helped me to try as much as I could to be physically active to help distract myself from the anxiety symptoms. I would sweep floors, fold laundry, takes short walks. When I did whatever at my own home, my hubby would drive me to my son's house where I would do boring tasks there for hours. All to distract and tire myself so rest would finally come.
I also worked closely with my doctor to get all the help I could. I was already on a blood pressure med, but many here were put on one called Clonodine, which has helped them with some of the symptoms. Please do not fear a doctor at this point... he doesn't care where you have been with a drug, only how to help you get where you need to be.
I am happy for you that you are also making changes in your life! It is a necessary part of changing all the thinking about who we are and where we want to be in life. For all the crummy parts we must endure getting off a drug, I know that we all have found the process one that causes us to change our thinking in many, many areas and find much happiness in our renewed, restored lives.
Stay busy to distract yourself... posting helped me a lot! Also, read the second post on this board called "Sample Home Detox." It offers much about things that can help us at this time.
All best wishes
reach