for those poetry lovers critic?

M

madison l

New member
not on the spelling but the poem its self thnkyou :)


when darkness falls

a new destiny calls

within deepest desire

within the hardest thought one must inquire

to whom this conserns to

there is no doubt

that is the meerest light

when a flame is brought about

dose ones life have a meaning?

or is it simply decieving

no it dose not decive us...

on the contrary it creates a path

for humans, to free us...

we decive our selve in all we do

we tell each other the sky is red

when it is truly blue

we say the word never needed to be heard

yet mute our selves with a slight urge

the lives we lead

go on and far

leaving of course

its deadly scars

but within the use of a human body, our power our strength

we reach up hights

to limitless lengths

but of corse it is not but a miricle

why we are here today?

no it is eternal life

lead from our ansestors

to our desendents

in hopes of creating a place such as eden

i do not believe in eden...

i do not believe in hell...

i do not belive in heaven...

and nor devil or god may do as well...

i simply believe in the truth of reality

how eternal life is beared by our creativity

i do not show fear nor pain

i am not sober nor sane

i am drunken

by the juices of life

the ones thatll show us a path soon enough

i am insanely beliving

in the will of a human

to controll there destiny...

and fullfill they're

creative,

believing,

spiritual,

eternal life...
 
ok, the poem is quite good. but it's a bit complicated and why does it rhyme at the beginning and not at the end? by the way, why is it in "books and authors"?
 
It's good, except for a slight contradiction near the end of the poem. You say we hope for Eden, yet you do not believe in it, you believe in the will of humanity, but surely that will should be able to create Eden, if you believe in humanity you should too believe in Eden, or at least the creation of Eden.
 
wow!
one word describes it

its so deep

explaining life in a poem

its amazing im just lost for words

you should publish these poems


great job.


-Boothy.//
 
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