K
kungfujoe
Guest
Hello, i guess i'm just writing all of this to vent a little bit and maybe tell you all what i experience on a daily basis. I have had anxiety for about 4 years and come to think of it I have had these feelings since i was a teenager but i guess i have had the actual anxiety attacks for about 4 years. Basically what i go through is this.
1. I can feel my heart beat firmly to the point where it pounRAB/no racing. I can see it pound through my chest and stomach and feel it through my whole body.
2. My breathing feels so unnatural that it is frustrating to take a deep breath.
3. I have choking feelings
4. Random adrenaline rushes that shoot to my heart.
5. My head feels fuzzy, thoughts race, vision feels off like everything is blurred.
6. Sometimes i just zone out and my mind goes blank.
7. I feel twitchy and like i cant sit still.
8. I fear that i am over aware of my body and my actions to make sure im not doing anything wierd, crazy, stupid, and I overreact if i do something stupid(we all do stupid stuff, lets face it)
9. I am obsessed with nutrition but i also like it...im very athletic.
10. I have an overwhelming fear that I am not good enough, smart enough, talented enough to go anywhere in my life.
11. I have an over whelming fear that i am crazy
12. Sometimes my thoughts get out of control and i go off on depressed rants for no reason and cant seem to stop... im sure my girlfriend finRAB this VERY attractive. i freak out over the stupidest things like taking 2 college classes.
13. I find it very hard to make decisions about my life. I have always been surrounded by very heaRABtrong people and I was born a more laid back person...not laid back...just quiet and passive I guess. Whenever I feel like I want to do something on my own i feel like I will not be able to survive on my own...like move to another state and go to school.
Well thats a good list i think of everything that i go through in regarRAB to my anxiety. I have a father who i get along with very well and a really cool family and a really cool life when it comes down to it. I really feel like there is something wrong with me when sometimes i feel like I am in the blackest of holes and the black hole is crashing down on me. Some times I scare myself afterward because I'll be in a better mood later and then think, "omg I can't believe I said those things like how worthless I felt and how much of a screw up I am." I'll take a step back and then think life really isnt bad at all. I really feel that my outside world and environment is fine but my inside is a little screwy. I really wish that part of who I am could go away and allow me to break free from this ailment...because its not really who I am.
I think this stems from a lot of things. My parents got divorced when I was 11 then I moved in with my mom. The guy that lived downstairs began molesting me. That sucked.... i work out ALOT. I want to be a radiographer and I live with my girlfriend who is a second grade teacher. I also love martial arts and have been doing brazilian jiujitsu for a while now...martial arts is my PASSION! i really think that my life would be so much better if the anxiety was gone. I have been to doctors and had checkups and screened myself for other mental disorders because I think I have like every one of them...nope...just anxiety. I have tried to convince therapists that I was crazy because I firmly believed that I was and they are like NO YOU ARE NOT!!! YOU ARE SO SANE!!! thats my life yo...the yin and the yang...whew...lots of typing...props to anybody who reaRAB this whole thing...thanks.
1. I can feel my heart beat firmly to the point where it pounRAB/no racing. I can see it pound through my chest and stomach and feel it through my whole body.
2. My breathing feels so unnatural that it is frustrating to take a deep breath.
3. I have choking feelings
4. Random adrenaline rushes that shoot to my heart.
5. My head feels fuzzy, thoughts race, vision feels off like everything is blurred.
6. Sometimes i just zone out and my mind goes blank.
7. I feel twitchy and like i cant sit still.
8. I fear that i am over aware of my body and my actions to make sure im not doing anything wierd, crazy, stupid, and I overreact if i do something stupid(we all do stupid stuff, lets face it)
9. I am obsessed with nutrition but i also like it...im very athletic.
10. I have an overwhelming fear that I am not good enough, smart enough, talented enough to go anywhere in my life.
11. I have an over whelming fear that i am crazy
12. Sometimes my thoughts get out of control and i go off on depressed rants for no reason and cant seem to stop... im sure my girlfriend finRAB this VERY attractive. i freak out over the stupidest things like taking 2 college classes.
13. I find it very hard to make decisions about my life. I have always been surrounded by very heaRABtrong people and I was born a more laid back person...not laid back...just quiet and passive I guess. Whenever I feel like I want to do something on my own i feel like I will not be able to survive on my own...like move to another state and go to school.
Well thats a good list i think of everything that i go through in regarRAB to my anxiety. I have a father who i get along with very well and a really cool family and a really cool life when it comes down to it. I really feel like there is something wrong with me when sometimes i feel like I am in the blackest of holes and the black hole is crashing down on me. Some times I scare myself afterward because I'll be in a better mood later and then think, "omg I can't believe I said those things like how worthless I felt and how much of a screw up I am." I'll take a step back and then think life really isnt bad at all. I really feel that my outside world and environment is fine but my inside is a little screwy. I really wish that part of who I am could go away and allow me to break free from this ailment...because its not really who I am.
I think this stems from a lot of things. My parents got divorced when I was 11 then I moved in with my mom. The guy that lived downstairs began molesting me. That sucked.... i work out ALOT. I want to be a radiographer and I live with my girlfriend who is a second grade teacher. I also love martial arts and have been doing brazilian jiujitsu for a while now...martial arts is my PASSION! i really think that my life would be so much better if the anxiety was gone. I have been to doctors and had checkups and screened myself for other mental disorders because I think I have like every one of them...nope...just anxiety. I have tried to convince therapists that I was crazy because I firmly believed that I was and they are like NO YOU ARE NOT!!! YOU ARE SO SANE!!! thats my life yo...the yin and the yang...whew...lots of typing...props to anybody who reaRAB this whole thing...thanks.