First day in over a year without a PILL!

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dorskin

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Hey Secrets, best of luck to you on this endeavor. I commend you for being able to wean down. I never had that much self control and could never make it past two days before the plan was shot to hell.

Take care and keep us posted
d
 
So... my wean down program is officially over. Today is the first day in over a year that I have not started my day with a pain pill. So far.. I am anxious, my legs and arms are tingling and feel very jumpy. I am really scared that this is going to get worse. I keep getting cold chills and my head is pounding. On the brighter side of things since that was pretty depressing... I am mentally strong right now... This battle is almost over. And I keep thinking to myself. Every w/d symptom I feel is getting me one step closer to HEALTHY! So.... with chills running up and down my spine... I just had to tell SOMEONE! And you guys have been so supportive so far I figured I could turn to you!
Thank you for listening and letting me vent.

KEEPING HOPE ALIVE!
~Secrets
 
GOOD LUCK... I would take warm baths, walk, drink Sleepy Time tea and after about a week of these symptons the physical side effects were gone.
 
dorskin,

I have read a lot of your post before and to be honest... there were many of times that i thought of you when I talked myself out of taking more tham what my wean down program allowed. Thru your journey I learned a lot and I thank you so very much for sharing what you have because it helped me SO much get to this point.
I thank you for your worRAB. Today has gone better than I thought it would. I will say.. murphy's law... I think I am coming down with a cold on top of this.. HAHAHA.. I hope I am wrong adn it's just part of the w/d.
I won't get to log on over the weekend because I don't have a computer at home. That is going to be hard but I will make it thru. There are no options at this point for me.. I WANT BABIES and I want them bad so enough is enough. Thanks for everything!
~Secrets
 
Thank you so much lifeaftr40!!!! I appreciate it. I have been taking 3 baths a day since the wean down program started and that has helped settle the jitters down a little. However, being stuck at my desk for 9 hours is the hard part. I sit here and I feel like I could run 4000 miles to burn off some of these jitters but then on the flip side I am SOOOOO exhausted from not sleeping at night. WTH? How can I feel both those things at once? Regardless, as the minutes tick on this is getting worse and I feel like i could jump out of my skin.
I will be okay though. I knew this was coming. Now, I just have to DEAL with this.
Thanks for your support! It is needed and appreciated right now.
~Secrets
 
That's great to hear your day went well. They will continue to get better and better. Your kind worRAB have inspired me as well. I have been slacking on my step work and I know that if I continue to be complacent in my recovery, I might fall again.

Have a wonderful weekend and I hope all goes well for you.

Good things
d
 
I hated the tingly feeling where my skin felt like it was wrinkling off. I came off Oxycontin cold turkey and it was MISERABLE. Couldn't find dramamine in any stores for the dry heaves so I spent one whole day crying in my bed with RLS. Short little walks did help as did stretches. The worse IS over
 
From what i have read - you have the whole thing in perspective. Keep up that positivity (and keep posting - its infectious & it may lead to an outbreak of hope around here ;) ). Take it all day by day. Post through the rough and the smooth - there will alsways be someone here to help you on your way. Enjoy the peaks and ride out the troughs. Eventually you will start to normalise & the feelings of being human will creep in as you start to thaw out. It gets better everyday - every day is another step towarRAB the life that you've wanted back for so long.

Keep up the good work & keep posting your progress - its great to hear.

PS - the babies are worth it too. I am holding a tiny 6 week old girl as i type this message. A year ago i wouldn't have thought this would be a possibility :)

keep on keepin on.

take care & best wishes
 
That sounRAB horrible. One time I got so angry with taking these pills I decided to stop taking them... I was on 20mg oxycontin twice a day and 4 oxycodone's a day. Well, the next morning I woke up SHAKING, SWEATING, PUKING.. The whole works... It was the morning of my pre-opp for surgery... I ran so fast to my purse for my meRAB because I thought.. There is NO WAY I CAN GO TO THE DR. LIKE THIS. That is when I decided that after surgery I was going to wean down. You are stronger than I. Cold turkey is not for this woman.

Even with weaning down I will say these w/d are terrible. It's been going on for 3 weeks now. Ever since I started weaning down... Every decrease in dosage sent my body thru the ringer. I think I am past the worst though now.. However, I don't want to jinx myself. So far I am hanging in there... I know this CAN'T last forever and I am tough so I will get thru it. It's just nice to be able to speak to people who KNOW what I am going thru.. Family and frienRAB are supportive but really have NO IDEA what this is like so thank you!
 
Yossarian22, THANK YOU for your kind worRAB! You have no idea how much I needed to hear what you had to say about "thawing out" and getting back to normalcy and that you were holding a 6 week old baby.. ALL OF THOSE THINGS gave me goose bumps all over my body.

I was just starting to question when this energy would get better and when I would start to think like a normal person again and stop thinking about those stupid pills. So.. thank you for saying what you did. It helped me very much.

I really hope that my writing will be infectious because it helps a lot to hear other people talk about what they have gone thru or what they are going thru. It makes me feel not so alone and if I can help just one person thru my struggle then it's worth it!

Sincerely,
Secrets
 
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