My name is Jay and I'm 21 years old and live in Toronto. In August of last year, my brother and I were approached by our mother telling us that she had something to tell us and that if our father found out, it would be the end of their marriage. She had not been making much money and had been neglecting to pay bills, specifically the mortgage. This was a Sunday morning. She told us if she didn't find $25,000 by noon on Monday, we would lose our house.
As I have a few very close friends, I was able to find one of them who had a father that was able to loan me $25,000 on the condition I pay him $2,000 a month. My dad to this day still does not know and thinks everything is fine. Since then, I have been late with the payments, other bills have been neglected because of our financial situation. I have an exceptional amount of stress on my shoulders as this debt is mine and even though it is my mom paying it back, it is ultimately on me.
It has come to the point where I just feel sick and don't know what to do anymore. I worry about my brother who is only 17 and is off to college soon and doesn't understand completely what is going on. I cannot trust my mother as she tells me things I only want to hear. I'm always the bad guy for disrespecting my mother but I have lost respect for her. My father continues wanting to spend money and I feel like if I don't say anything to restrain him, we won't have enough to pay back the debt to my friend's father. My dad doesn't know and tells me to mind my own business what they spend their money on.
What should I do? Should I tell my dad and ruin my family? Is there anything anyone can suggest that I can do to my mother to make sure she gets how serious this is? I know it isn't really my place to say anything but I feel like I should. I don't want to hurt my brother and know that he'll hate me if I tear my parents apart. This is a very difficult situation and I'm tearing up just writing it. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
As I have a few very close friends, I was able to find one of them who had a father that was able to loan me $25,000 on the condition I pay him $2,000 a month. My dad to this day still does not know and thinks everything is fine. Since then, I have been late with the payments, other bills have been neglected because of our financial situation. I have an exceptional amount of stress on my shoulders as this debt is mine and even though it is my mom paying it back, it is ultimately on me.
It has come to the point where I just feel sick and don't know what to do anymore. I worry about my brother who is only 17 and is off to college soon and doesn't understand completely what is going on. I cannot trust my mother as she tells me things I only want to hear. I'm always the bad guy for disrespecting my mother but I have lost respect for her. My father continues wanting to spend money and I feel like if I don't say anything to restrain him, we won't have enough to pay back the debt to my friend's father. My dad doesn't know and tells me to mind my own business what they spend their money on.
What should I do? Should I tell my dad and ruin my family? Is there anything anyone can suggest that I can do to my mother to make sure she gets how serious this is? I know it isn't really my place to say anything but I feel like I should. I don't want to hurt my brother and know that he'll hate me if I tear my parents apart. This is a very difficult situation and I'm tearing up just writing it. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.