I have been engaged for about 5 months now and have been with my fiance since November of last year, well I've known him since then, been with him since January of this year and in March, we got engaged. My fiance is a great person, he in a sense saved me from myself. He's wonderful...but sometimes, he makes me feel like I'm nothing to him and as if I'm not good enough. I'm an insecure person, I always have been...I never feel good enough and he doesn't make me feel I am, usually he makes me feel worse. We are also in a long distance relationship, so it makes it even harder. I'm going to give you a list of things he does...
1) When he buys something/does something that has money involved, if I don't appreciate it or if someone in my family doesn't, he'll bring it up...My fiance isn't a poor man, he makes great money, 150 K a year plus bonus every 3 months. We had an engagement party, just a little thing and he made it clear that he didn't want to spend more than $500 on it. He even added up everything at the end. He always makes me feel like I'm not good enough for his money. He also wants a prenup. He keeps telling me how he doesn't want to spend more than $5,000 on our wedding.
2) When my fiance and I first started dating, he bluntly told me that my sister and I were just as attractive (he had seen pictures of her)and that I wasn't better than her and that if he met her and liked her better, he would tell me. (By the way, I'm much better looking than my fiance and everyone always tells him how I'm way out of his league.) And just today, him and I were talking and he was on my cousin's ******* profile earlier in the day and he was like "I went to your cousin's profile today and I hadn't really realized it before, but Brittany is so HOTTT! I was like "DAMNNNN..." And it made me upset, but I went along with it, I was like "yeah, she is a hot lil' mama...she is my cousin" and then I got a little passive aggressive, that's just my nature and he was like "don't worry, there's no one better for me than you" He didn't say I was hotter and that bothers me. It's just so wrong, how could he even say that...it's not funny, even if he thinks it is. And my fiance was previously married and when I compare my cousin and her together, they're similiar in how they look and it's like how is that suppose to make me feel?
3) He's bluntly told me how my forehead is too big and my nose is too big...which they're not, maybe to him...but I just don't understand how he can say those things to me.
4) He picks on my weight a lot...I'm almost 5'9, but I weigh 160 and my fiance is 5'9 and weighs almost 220. He has no problem stating that I'm fat, he even wrote me out a diet & exercise plan. And last time he was here, he was like picking me up and trying to put me on the scale.
5) He has all my passwords to my e-mail, *******, etc...but when I ask for his, he was like ha ha, I'm not giving it to you...It's as if he has something to hide.
6) He is really controlling. My sister's boyfriend was recently visiting and we went out to a few places and he was like don't go with them any where, I want to take you, or go to one place, don't go to another. And if I want to go out with my friends, he's like "you'd rather go out with them and not talk to me, whatever...go" Then when I go out and I go out during the day and I never ever go to clubs, he's like "yeah, go find a new man" It totally makes me not want to go. Then when I don't go out, he says I'm lazy and I need to get motivated and have hobbies. But it is literally anything I do, it's either you hate me and don't want to talk to me or you're finding someone else or how can you go without me? I'm a great dancer, so I wanted to take salsa classes to advance and he says to me, "Uhhh...you're going to be dancing with some guy during classes, I don't want you to do it." Then I took a picture with my sister's boyfriend and sent it to him and because he had his arm around my shoulder, he got mad and was like whatever, you like him...blah blah. It's just all these things.
I don't know what to do, he's a really good guy and I really don't believe he lies to me...but he just makes me feel like poop sometimes and so insecure.
1) When he buys something/does something that has money involved, if I don't appreciate it or if someone in my family doesn't, he'll bring it up...My fiance isn't a poor man, he makes great money, 150 K a year plus bonus every 3 months. We had an engagement party, just a little thing and he made it clear that he didn't want to spend more than $500 on it. He even added up everything at the end. He always makes me feel like I'm not good enough for his money. He also wants a prenup. He keeps telling me how he doesn't want to spend more than $5,000 on our wedding.
2) When my fiance and I first started dating, he bluntly told me that my sister and I were just as attractive (he had seen pictures of her)and that I wasn't better than her and that if he met her and liked her better, he would tell me. (By the way, I'm much better looking than my fiance and everyone always tells him how I'm way out of his league.) And just today, him and I were talking and he was on my cousin's ******* profile earlier in the day and he was like "I went to your cousin's profile today and I hadn't really realized it before, but Brittany is so HOTTT! I was like "DAMNNNN..." And it made me upset, but I went along with it, I was like "yeah, she is a hot lil' mama...she is my cousin" and then I got a little passive aggressive, that's just my nature and he was like "don't worry, there's no one better for me than you" He didn't say I was hotter and that bothers me. It's just so wrong, how could he even say that...it's not funny, even if he thinks it is. And my fiance was previously married and when I compare my cousin and her together, they're similiar in how they look and it's like how is that suppose to make me feel?
3) He's bluntly told me how my forehead is too big and my nose is too big...which they're not, maybe to him...but I just don't understand how he can say those things to me.
4) He picks on my weight a lot...I'm almost 5'9, but I weigh 160 and my fiance is 5'9 and weighs almost 220. He has no problem stating that I'm fat, he even wrote me out a diet & exercise plan. And last time he was here, he was like picking me up and trying to put me on the scale.
5) He has all my passwords to my e-mail, *******, etc...but when I ask for his, he was like ha ha, I'm not giving it to you...It's as if he has something to hide.
6) He is really controlling. My sister's boyfriend was recently visiting and we went out to a few places and he was like don't go with them any where, I want to take you, or go to one place, don't go to another. And if I want to go out with my friends, he's like "you'd rather go out with them and not talk to me, whatever...go" Then when I go out and I go out during the day and I never ever go to clubs, he's like "yeah, go find a new man" It totally makes me not want to go. Then when I don't go out, he says I'm lazy and I need to get motivated and have hobbies. But it is literally anything I do, it's either you hate me and don't want to talk to me or you're finding someone else or how can you go without me? I'm a great dancer, so I wanted to take salsa classes to advance and he says to me, "Uhhh...you're going to be dancing with some guy during classes, I don't want you to do it." Then I took a picture with my sister's boyfriend and sent it to him and because he had his arm around my shoulder, he got mad and was like whatever, you like him...blah blah. It's just all these things.
I don't know what to do, he's a really good guy and I really don't believe he lies to me...but he just makes me feel like poop sometimes and so insecure.