Favourite Laurel and Hardy scenes / lines ?

L

light headed

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I don't remember the title of the film, but Ollie was phoning Stan.
Ollie : "I thought you were coming over last night"
Stan " I couldn't make it. A dog bit me"
Ollie : "What ?"
Stan : "A dog bit me"
Ollie : "I can't understand you - spell it"
Stan : " A dog bit me - B. I . it me, bit me"
Ollie : "Is it serious ?"
Stan : "Oh yeah, the doctor said I might get hydrophosphates !"
 
Can't remember the film but Stan and Ollie are in a room and the phone rings. Stan answers it and says "Yes, I know." and goes back and sits down.

Ollie asks who it was and Stan replies "It was someone telling me it was a long distance from New York."
 
"Is that the money that you gave to him, that he gave to you, the same money that I gave you to pay HIM ??"
"Yes"
"Well what did YOU do with it ?"
"I gave it to HIM !"
 
Oliver: What are you eating?
Stan: An apple.
Oliver: Where'd you get it?
Stan: In there. [points to the fruit bowl]
Oliver: Why, that's not real fruit. It's imitation! It's made of wax!
Mrs. Hardy: What's he been doing now?
Oliver: He's been eating that phony fruit.
Mrs. Hardy: Oh, so that's where it's been going. That's the third apple I've missed this week.
 
Stan and Ollie are selling fish from a van type vehicle.
Stan :" If we caught the fish ourselves, we wouldn't have to pay anyone for them, and the money the customers paid would be ours outright"
Ollie : "Tell me that again"
Stan : "Well, if we caught...the money...and gave it to the fish...anybody we sold it to wouldn't have to pay for it" :D:D
 
Stanley: I don't know anything about cutting wood.
Oliver: Well, you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business.
Stanley: I know he was, but it was only in a small way.
Oliver: What do you mean small way?
Stanley: He used to sell toothpicks.
Oliver: Well, go ahead and make some toothpicks. Be a chip off of the old block.

and....

Oliver: Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?
Stanley: Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?
Oliver: Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?
Stanley: No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.
Oliver: Was he building a house?
Stanley: No, they were hanging him.
 
From Sons of the Desert (their best film), another genius few lines from Stan, which he promptly forgets when asked to repeat it, by Ollie.

Stan: I'd like to congratulate you.
Ollie: For what?
Stan: Well, for the way with which you have executed your finely formulated machinations in extracating us from this devastating dilemma!
Ollie: Say that again.
Stan: Well......

:D
 
The one where Ollie handcuRAB Stan inside the yacht to stop him causing any more trouble. Needless to say it doesn't stop Stan from nearly killing Ollie and sinking the yacht.
 
There's one scene that has always stuck in my mind, Stan and Ollie are sitting in a cafe/restaurant type place having only just enough money to buy 1 milkshake which they intend to share, Stanley takes first sip and drinks the whole lot in one go to the wild stares of Ollie who asks "what did you do that for" to the ominous reply from Stanley "i couldn't help it my half was on the bottom!"
 
'Towed in a Hole'. Yeah, cutting out the middle-man by catching their own fish. Great lines and great scenes, particularly where Stan nearly saws his own head off whilst trapped against the pole...the same pole Ollie is leaning on to paint way up high.

Just Ollies's dawning realisation as he hears the sound of sawing.....

Classic.:D
 
Where Laurel is living in a trench and the wars has been over for years and he is still eating rashioned B.Beans which he throws over the side to make a mountain of bean cans.:D:D
 
"Perfect Day" where they are planning to go on a car journey (they intend on going on a picnic) which never ACTUALLY gets anywhere !
Edgar Kennedy's poor gout ridden foot which continually gets trapped in the car door and savaged by the family's little dog !! :D
 
Oliver Hardy: [with disgust] You make me sick!
Stan Laurel: Well, weve all got to live and learn, you know.
Oliver Hardy: Yeah, but you just live!
 
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