Favourite Homerisms?

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photonictechsss

New member
Homer Simpson is probably the most quotable cartoon character of the last 20 years. Question is, what are your favourite 'Homerisms'?

A few of mine:

Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Do you know these so called 'volunteers' don't even get paid?

Weasling out of things is important to learn. It's what seperates us from the animals...'cept the weasel.
 
"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people who are better."

Painfully true. Especially for job-seekers.
 
Now son, you tried something you liked and failed miserably. The lesson here is, "never try."


The movie should hopefully give us a bunch of new ones to quote. I still laugh at the one from the second trailer - "Why you little...I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!" I honestly think the Homer strangling Bart visual gag is the only thing that has been a main staple of the show since it started.
 
Mr. Burns: Use an open faced club. A sandwedge

Homer: Mmmmm... open faced club sandwich

It takes two to lie Marge. One to lie, one to listen.

Moe is their leader.
 
"You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel."

another favorite

Bart: No offence Homer but your half assed under parenting was a lot better than your half assed over parenting.

Homer: But I'm using my whole ass.
 
"Oh I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish." always gives me a smile.

The there's:
"Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package." ***PAUSE*** "Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic."

And of course there's "The Shinning":
Homer: Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there.
Marge: Homer, did you remember to lock the front door of the house?
Homer: D'oh!
(WEDNESDAY)
Homer: Well, it's been two long trips, but we're finally almost there again.
Marge: When you locked the front door, did you remember to lock the back door?
Homer: D'oh! D'oh!

Homer: So what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer" something something.
Marge: "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!

(Homer Chops Through A Door)
Homer: Heeeere's Johnny!
(Turns Out No One Was In The Room)
Homer: D'OH!
(Homer Chops Through Another Door)
Homer: Daaaaavid Letterman!
(Turns Out No One Was In The Room Except For Abe)
Abe: Hi David, I'm Grampa.
Homer: D'OH!
(Homer Chops Through Another Door, This Time Holding A Ticking Stopwatch)
Homer: I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on "60 Minutes"!
(Homer Got The Right Room, The Family Screams)
 
To Mr. Burns:
"When you're good guy, you have to be nice to people everyday. But when you're bad, you don't have to do squat!"

I'm paraphrasing.
 
Some of my faves....

"Oh,sure EVERYTHING looks bad if you remember it...."

"To alcohol,the cause of...and solution to,all of life's problems"

"I never apologize!!!...I'm sorry,but that's just the way I am..."

"I'm not easily impressed....Wow!! a blue car!!!"

"Oh Lisa,you and your stories....Bart is a vampire,beer kills brain cells....now lets go to that building...thingie....where our beds and TV....is..."

Someone already mentioned it,but I also liked the "any key" line from King-Sized Homer...

one of my fave preludes to choking Bart...."Choke on your lies!!!!!"

and one of my fave Halloween scenes.....

Bart: Dad,you just killed the Zombie Flanders

Homer: He was a zombie?
 
"He lied to us through song. I hate when people do that."

"Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito."

Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead, do your worst!
Mr. Burns: My worst eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!

"Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... YAAAH!!"
 
"Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!"
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"
 
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