Father in law sometimes tells husband what to do. ?

[Natalia Z]

E.g, one time we moved to his country in Europe & we didn't have money and he told my husband that we need him to invite him to a restaurant because he is the only one who had been inviting lately. I was very surprise for him to say this when he knew neither my husband and I were working and we were depending on him (father in law). He was paying the rent of our apt there, the bills and gave my husband a part time job but the pay was just little. This is an example of hings that he had done in the past. But now my mother in law had a stroke. We live in USA, and my husband went for 2 weeks to be with her. Now they need to move her to a rehabilitation hospital, but my husband said is hard to get accepted. So far they haven't been sucessful, so my husband told me yesterday that his father told him that he can't leave before her mother is admitted to the rehabilitation hospital. So my husband now wants to stay for a week or so. It makes me mad that his father doesn't think that my husband has a job that is waiting him. He thinks that my husband can do anything and doesn't think will he loose his job. Will they give him more time to stay here. I know that now we are talking about something important the heath of a love one. I don’t know how my father in law really thinks. My father in law doesn’t even ask will you need some money to pay for the changing the ticket. Neither my husband will ask him even though my husband knows we don’t have money to pay the change on the ticket.
I don’t know if my father in law behaves like this because he still treats my husband as single men. Even though we have been marry for almost 10 years. I didn’t tell my husband that it bother me that my father in law just tells him to stay without thinking, or asking if his son will can or not. I think is not a good time to be emphasizing my father in law behavior. But is not the first time. I want to tell my husband in a nice way if he is going to ask my father in law to help us with paying the change on the ticket. But I don’t know if my husband will get upset with me or might not want to ask his father for the money. Because he might not be worry about how to pay this since my aunt had gave me as a gift couple days ago $5000 to help us out with living expenses (I am not working).
What should I do? And how should I handle this situation and future ones…..

 

[albrightlesa]

This is between your husband and his father,Your husband will handle it if it is jeopardizing your money situation do some childcare on the side to help out or get a part time job ,I am trying not to be rude but your husbands father needs him he dose not think because his wife has to be cared for and he is probably feeling overwhelmed and looks to his son as his rock in this hard time of course he is not thinking! try to walk a mile in his shoes what would you do if your husband was in need of special care you could not give and you needed help from people you have helped.No he dose not know your family needs but you do not know how scared he is right now being a man and needing to ask your children for help and feeling like crap because the wife is making you feel worse about a situation that you want to cry every night for so what can you do..except remind them that you have bought their food ?? well you cannot cry in front of them because you are a man and men especially old world men do not do that they provide and give orders that is what they do their whole life is into providing and bossing .now they have to ask IT IS VERY HARD FOR HIM TO ASK YOU OR HIS SON. so open your eyes see the tears he was taught not to cry and eat the ticket money change