interest in life, suicidal thoughts? Now, I know that the internet isn't the most reliable way to find out what is wrong, but I want to know all the possibilities before I consult a doctor. My parents think that I'm just a drama queen, but for the past three years I've been having these symptoms:
--> Panic Attacks: I get a panic attack at least once a week, and even when I don't have them I seem to be worried and angry about every little thing. (Sometimes I even remember occurrences from my childhood and start feeling anxious)
--> Mood swings: I am extremely productive and I would say hyper throughout the summer and autumn. When winter comes, I lose all interest in life, and that's when my grades drop significantly because I can't get myself to put any effort into anything I do. I also experience suicidal thoughts a lot during this time.
--> Uncontrollable Anger: When something happens that makes me upset and angry, my body tenses up, hot tears start pouring out, and I feel like I can't breathe. I have this crazy urge to break and kill everything that is in my way, but when I try to control it, I end up hurting myself. I bite my arms, scratch, bang my head against sharp edges. This is also when I am convinced that the best way to get out of this state is by killing myself. The worst part of this is that I don't want to die. I have many ambitions in life, but everything that I go through on the daily basis (and the fact that my parents think I'm putting on a show) makes me feel like that's the only way to go. I also think that I want to do it as a way to prove to my parents that none of what happens is an act.
If you know what all of this can be, please, please let me know. Don't bother answering to tell me to go to a doctor, because its what I am planning to do anyways.
Thanks.
"turn off the radio", I emailed you. Hope you don't mind.
To everyone else, thank you for suggestions.
--> Panic Attacks: I get a panic attack at least once a week, and even when I don't have them I seem to be worried and angry about every little thing. (Sometimes I even remember occurrences from my childhood and start feeling anxious)
--> Mood swings: I am extremely productive and I would say hyper throughout the summer and autumn. When winter comes, I lose all interest in life, and that's when my grades drop significantly because I can't get myself to put any effort into anything I do. I also experience suicidal thoughts a lot during this time.
--> Uncontrollable Anger: When something happens that makes me upset and angry, my body tenses up, hot tears start pouring out, and I feel like I can't breathe. I have this crazy urge to break and kill everything that is in my way, but when I try to control it, I end up hurting myself. I bite my arms, scratch, bang my head against sharp edges. This is also when I am convinced that the best way to get out of this state is by killing myself. The worst part of this is that I don't want to die. I have many ambitions in life, but everything that I go through on the daily basis (and the fact that my parents think I'm putting on a show) makes me feel like that's the only way to go. I also think that I want to do it as a way to prove to my parents that none of what happens is an act.
If you know what all of this can be, please, please let me know. Don't bother answering to tell me to go to a doctor, because its what I am planning to do anyways.
Thanks.
"turn off the radio", I emailed you. Hope you don't mind.
To everyone else, thank you for suggestions.