E
English101Pof
Guest
Comma-kaze!
Correct any comma or semi-colon errors in the following paragraph.
Try to keep sentence integrity without rewording.
My neighbors' son John, spent most of his middle school years playing
thinking about, and discussing computer games. Talking to his parents
repeatedly he begged to replace his brother's ancient Nintendo Entertainment
System which he referred to condescendingly as "Snessy," with a Nintendo Wii;
although, he would be thrilled with an XBox 360. When he went with his family,
to visit friends, or to vacation at the beach his iPod, and all his accessories went
with him. His conversations with his father consisted of attempts to convince him
to buy one more system, his conversations with his friends were intricate
analyses of how to master complicated games. Josh was not competitive, in fact
he seemed uninterested in winning, and always played alone. The tension of
playing and the pleasure of mastering the games, seemed to be the main
incentives for his constant, and compulsive play. Slowly but surely Josh learned
to manipulate the controls, that would make his figure jump lunge, run and
sometimes even swim to dodge, or destroy the enemy; hoping to achieve a
higher level. Throughout those long years of his adolescence the thin tones of
electronic music and sound effect emanated hour after hour from his room and
the silent immobile Josh sat completely absorbed in the movements, and
explosions on the screen.
-1 point for minor errors
-2 points for compound or clause errors
-3 points for comma splices or incorrect semi-colons
Correct any comma or semi-colon errors in the following paragraph.
Try to keep sentence integrity without rewording.
My neighbors' son John, spent most of his middle school years playing
thinking about, and discussing computer games. Talking to his parents
repeatedly he begged to replace his brother's ancient Nintendo Entertainment
System which he referred to condescendingly as "Snessy," with a Nintendo Wii;
although, he would be thrilled with an XBox 360. When he went with his family,
to visit friends, or to vacation at the beach his iPod, and all his accessories went
with him. His conversations with his father consisted of attempts to convince him
to buy one more system, his conversations with his friends were intricate
analyses of how to master complicated games. Josh was not competitive, in fact
he seemed uninterested in winning, and always played alone. The tension of
playing and the pleasure of mastering the games, seemed to be the main
incentives for his constant, and compulsive play. Slowly but surely Josh learned
to manipulate the controls, that would make his figure jump lunge, run and
sometimes even swim to dodge, or destroy the enemy; hoping to achieve a
higher level. Throughout those long years of his adolescence the thin tones of
electronic music and sound effect emanated hour after hour from his room and
the silent immobile Josh sat completely absorbed in the movements, and
explosions on the screen.
-1 point for minor errors
-2 points for compound or clause errors
-3 points for comma splices or incorrect semi-colons