Right this might be long but it's hugely important so if you took the time to read and answer i would be extremely grateful.
Basically i'm 15 and since i was 11 i've had mental health issues and after a suicide attempt at 13 saw a psychologist but got discharged and then a few months ago i was suicidal and got put into hospital and started seeing another psychologist who, after assessing me decided dialectical behaviour therapy would be a good idea to help me with how i feel.
Now, here is the problem. Basically this will sound stupid and i have no idea how to explain how i'm feeling but school makes me feel trapped and depressed. I don't know why and i have no obvious problem that would make me feel that way (like i'm not getting bullied or anything) but it just makes me feel so bad inside that after only two days back after summer i came home and cried and cried all night and was close to killing myself.
Last night i had a heart to heart with my mom and told her how i feel and i basically told her that if i think honestly about the future i can't see myself going to school without ending up killing myself. The problem is i'm supposed to be doing gcse's (important exams) but even if i stayed in school and went ahead with the dialectical therapy i would miss two days a week which would probably make me fail. So i was thinking of home schooling for these last two years and then if i wanted to get my gcse's i could go to a college when i was 16 and do them, i know it sets me back by two years but it's better than going to school and ending up dead right?
I know the whole thing sounds ridiculous and even i don't know how i hate school so much, but i've stopped looking for answers and i'm concentrating on how i feel and i know i just can't deal with school. What's more important... going to school to get an education but have my mental health suffer or home schooling, getting treatment and hopefully getting better and then going to do gcse's in a couple of years time?
Basically i'm 15 and since i was 11 i've had mental health issues and after a suicide attempt at 13 saw a psychologist but got discharged and then a few months ago i was suicidal and got put into hospital and started seeing another psychologist who, after assessing me decided dialectical behaviour therapy would be a good idea to help me with how i feel.
Now, here is the problem. Basically this will sound stupid and i have no idea how to explain how i'm feeling but school makes me feel trapped and depressed. I don't know why and i have no obvious problem that would make me feel that way (like i'm not getting bullied or anything) but it just makes me feel so bad inside that after only two days back after summer i came home and cried and cried all night and was close to killing myself.
Last night i had a heart to heart with my mom and told her how i feel and i basically told her that if i think honestly about the future i can't see myself going to school without ending up killing myself. The problem is i'm supposed to be doing gcse's (important exams) but even if i stayed in school and went ahead with the dialectical therapy i would miss two days a week which would probably make me fail. So i was thinking of home schooling for these last two years and then if i wanted to get my gcse's i could go to a college when i was 16 and do them, i know it sets me back by two years but it's better than going to school and ending up dead right?
I know the whole thing sounds ridiculous and even i don't know how i hate school so much, but i've stopped looking for answers and i'm concentrating on how i feel and i know i just can't deal with school. What's more important... going to school to get an education but have my mental health suffer or home schooling, getting treatment and hopefully getting better and then going to do gcse's in a couple of years time?