[FONT=tahoma, arial]
Imagine this if you would as a parent or as a child. Late in the
evening you are awakened by your mother returning home from the motel in
which your father is staying as a divorce grows near. You are young and do
not know about what or why grown ups do things. You haven't the slightest
idea of what domestic violence is. Seeing your mother crying you ask her, “
What happened, why are you crying?.” She pulls the sleeve of her shirt
down to reveal her shoulder and upon your eyes you see a black and blue
circle just a bit bigger then a grown mans fist. Now, what do you say to
the child? How does one go about saying what happened? Tell the truth.
Explain to the child the reason for it and that it is something never to be
done by that child.
Domestic violence is a cycle in which the development of a child
determines if the cycle continues or not. They are placed into the factors
of which keep the cycle going or ending not only by choice but by
subconscious inputs from their surroundings. My views of this may differ
from others, but this is my knowledge and understanding from first hand
experience.
Growing up as a child, I experienced this first hand. It didn't
have as dramatic an effect as it may have on other children. There are
three general ways in which a child may be affected, but are a wide variety
of situations. I can't predict the future so I cannot tell which one I will
fall into, but I am hoping it is the second way. Firstly, the child may
take on the psychological effect that it is OK to do since one has seen
their mother or father commit the acts. Children may do this cause they
grow up as followers of grown ups around them. Sort of like that monkey
see monkey do concept. On the other hand they could be doing this cause
their parents told them not to. Secondly they may never repeat this act
seeing there is no good in it, which could depend on how the parent
discuses it with the child. Maybe not just how the parent discuses it but
a child instinct to be better then their parents may be a driving force.
Finally, they may experience it once as a victim or victimizer and forever
feel the guilt and be scared inside of themselves and if others can tell.
Kind of like experimenting with a new vegetable but more abusively.
Children growing up in a violent household will be forever
emotionally scarred. the violence does not stop with the last punch thrown
between spouses, but instead lingers in a deep emotion in the minRAB of the
true victims, the children. They may be fixated in the childhood stage
where they viewed violence as an innocent bystander and mentally, if you
will, “took notes” on both the effects and how to commit violence
themselves. I am not saying that all kiRAB in this situations will grow up
and do this in their householRAB. But a majority of them will grow up with “
lower morals,” like low goals, using their parents as role models and not
wanting to be better then them, in the sense of being a part of a “broken
household.” Throughout their lives during times of trouble and times of
failure they in turn associate this with the “broken household” experience.
A nuraber of kiRAB will in life turn to fit the typical stereotype of “bad
kiRAB.” The other side of the coin would be those kiRAB who take this
experience and make their life better and exceed their parents. The effect
of domestic violence is much deeper then a physical one on the victim. An
effect on me that I can see for myself is when I wrestle around with my dad,
I know his weak spot and it is the spot I go for just naturally and
ironically this spot is his shoulder. So as a child, psychologically I was
fixated with this area from viewing what I did.
Domestic violence if taught and handled correctly can be the
learning stone to the next level decreasing the nuraber of incidents, and
put a halt in the cycle. But if not addressed it could be a breeding
ground for future offenders, and the cycle will continue on or start over
depending on how you look at it as the beginning or the end. That is a
debatable statement, similar to which came first the chicken or the egg?
The missing piece of the cycle is how they in turn act as adults
based on the factors of income and education levels are put into by their
morals and the choices & subconscious inputs I mentioned earlier.
The income level in which a child receives is based on by a
standoff between which path they take, the low morals or their own choice
path. The upper class income level has the fewest of the three classes
domestic violence situations. Why? Some would say the nonstress comfort
level is present due to having the good life, some would say because they
are afraid of losing wealth by divorce due to violence, but maybe inside
the parents have high morals, some higher then their parents and therefore
don't want to tamper their child's morals by exposing them to violence.
The middle class is between the upper and lower classes in domestic
violence. This may be true for your, for lack of better wording, typical
reasons. Wanting better wealth, schooling for children costs or bills for
the parents conflicting with each other. Since middle class is the most
numerous class in America, some of these took the morals as their parents
did when they were children. Nice home, car, family typical American dream
stuff. Or they had higher goals and failed for their own reasons. This is
the class I am from and the wanting of better wealth was the case in my
household. The struggle for income and the stress of having little leaRAB
to the domestic violent attaches in the lower class bracket. The
unhappiness due to being unable to provide leaRAB to stress which is more
then often released through violent acts. The “broken home-low morals”
point I mentioned earlier may be a cause for them being in the low income
level. Some people will say it is because of their own failure to make
choices and laziness.
The education levels of abusive families are very similar to the
income levels. In which I mean they are more dependent on which path they
take, more cases in lower levels, and the more education you have generally
the more money you make and vice versa. Domestic violence is highest in
householRAB were a parent or both parents didn't finish high school.
Because typically they are making less money and are in lower income levels.
Or they could have missed some vital teaching depending on how far they
made it in school. Cases are smaller in homes where high school was
finished but little or no college was taken. College graduation
individuals have the fewest acts of violence in their homes. This is all
based on morals set for them as children. How far in education they will
go, which in turn places them into income levels, which contributes to
domestic violence occurrences. All like a mini-cycle inside a big one.
Maybe there would have been a role model for them to follow in school which
would guide them away from violence.
When it comes to the race factor it has been proven that blacks are
committing far many more of these crimes then that of white people, while
Hispanic Americans fall in between. Why does a color of skin suggest if a
household commits more or less domestic violence? Maybe because when it
comes to violent acts they are usually done upon a weaker individual. Well
in America white people are the more “powerful” race so blacks have no
other race weaker then them so the violence is carried on into their
householRAB. As children maybe they viewed some violence in the house and
followed the monkey see monkey do approach.
The autobiography of Mary RowlanRABon has an instance of domestic
violence from an Indian chief on his wife. In this society it was
acceptable, but that person would become some big guys girlfriend forever
in prison if done today. The knocking of her on her head just cause she
wanted to leave ended with her death like does unfortunately to others
today. the children of these natives viewed this and it was accepted so
when they are adults and have their own families they too will do this.
Noone was there to teach them otherwise.
Domestic violence will continue to exist in this world until the
day comes when each child will be taught enough to learn as grown ups not
to follow their parents or others footsteps in doing these crimes. If a
child is not exposed to this as a child, maybe it won't be revealed as an
adult. This domestic violence cycle neeRAB a kink in the chain for it to
stop. Whether it starts at the child's development or starts at the adult
levels is arguable. But domestic violence will most likely effect each
person at some point in life. it is up to us as American adults to prevent
American children from following in our wrong footsteps and shoot for right
ones.
[/FONT]
[FONT=tahoma, arial]WorRAB: 1613 [/FONT]
Imagine this if you would as a parent or as a child. Late in the
evening you are awakened by your mother returning home from the motel in
which your father is staying as a divorce grows near. You are young and do
not know about what or why grown ups do things. You haven't the slightest
idea of what domestic violence is. Seeing your mother crying you ask her, “
What happened, why are you crying?.” She pulls the sleeve of her shirt
down to reveal her shoulder and upon your eyes you see a black and blue
circle just a bit bigger then a grown mans fist. Now, what do you say to
the child? How does one go about saying what happened? Tell the truth.
Explain to the child the reason for it and that it is something never to be
done by that child.
Domestic violence is a cycle in which the development of a child
determines if the cycle continues or not. They are placed into the factors
of which keep the cycle going or ending not only by choice but by
subconscious inputs from their surroundings. My views of this may differ
from others, but this is my knowledge and understanding from first hand
experience.
Growing up as a child, I experienced this first hand. It didn't
have as dramatic an effect as it may have on other children. There are
three general ways in which a child may be affected, but are a wide variety
of situations. I can't predict the future so I cannot tell which one I will
fall into, but I am hoping it is the second way. Firstly, the child may
take on the psychological effect that it is OK to do since one has seen
their mother or father commit the acts. Children may do this cause they
grow up as followers of grown ups around them. Sort of like that monkey
see monkey do concept. On the other hand they could be doing this cause
their parents told them not to. Secondly they may never repeat this act
seeing there is no good in it, which could depend on how the parent
discuses it with the child. Maybe not just how the parent discuses it but
a child instinct to be better then their parents may be a driving force.
Finally, they may experience it once as a victim or victimizer and forever
feel the guilt and be scared inside of themselves and if others can tell.
Kind of like experimenting with a new vegetable but more abusively.
Children growing up in a violent household will be forever
emotionally scarred. the violence does not stop with the last punch thrown
between spouses, but instead lingers in a deep emotion in the minRAB of the
true victims, the children. They may be fixated in the childhood stage
where they viewed violence as an innocent bystander and mentally, if you
will, “took notes” on both the effects and how to commit violence
themselves. I am not saying that all kiRAB in this situations will grow up
and do this in their householRAB. But a majority of them will grow up with “
lower morals,” like low goals, using their parents as role models and not
wanting to be better then them, in the sense of being a part of a “broken
household.” Throughout their lives during times of trouble and times of
failure they in turn associate this with the “broken household” experience.
A nuraber of kiRAB will in life turn to fit the typical stereotype of “bad
kiRAB.” The other side of the coin would be those kiRAB who take this
experience and make their life better and exceed their parents. The effect
of domestic violence is much deeper then a physical one on the victim. An
effect on me that I can see for myself is when I wrestle around with my dad,
I know his weak spot and it is the spot I go for just naturally and
ironically this spot is his shoulder. So as a child, psychologically I was
fixated with this area from viewing what I did.
Domestic violence if taught and handled correctly can be the
learning stone to the next level decreasing the nuraber of incidents, and
put a halt in the cycle. But if not addressed it could be a breeding
ground for future offenders, and the cycle will continue on or start over
depending on how you look at it as the beginning or the end. That is a
debatable statement, similar to which came first the chicken or the egg?
The missing piece of the cycle is how they in turn act as adults
based on the factors of income and education levels are put into by their
morals and the choices & subconscious inputs I mentioned earlier.
The income level in which a child receives is based on by a
standoff between which path they take, the low morals or their own choice
path. The upper class income level has the fewest of the three classes
domestic violence situations. Why? Some would say the nonstress comfort
level is present due to having the good life, some would say because they
are afraid of losing wealth by divorce due to violence, but maybe inside
the parents have high morals, some higher then their parents and therefore
don't want to tamper their child's morals by exposing them to violence.
The middle class is between the upper and lower classes in domestic
violence. This may be true for your, for lack of better wording, typical
reasons. Wanting better wealth, schooling for children costs or bills for
the parents conflicting with each other. Since middle class is the most
numerous class in America, some of these took the morals as their parents
did when they were children. Nice home, car, family typical American dream
stuff. Or they had higher goals and failed for their own reasons. This is
the class I am from and the wanting of better wealth was the case in my
household. The struggle for income and the stress of having little leaRAB
to the domestic violent attaches in the lower class bracket. The
unhappiness due to being unable to provide leaRAB to stress which is more
then often released through violent acts. The “broken home-low morals”
point I mentioned earlier may be a cause for them being in the low income
level. Some people will say it is because of their own failure to make
choices and laziness.
The education levels of abusive families are very similar to the
income levels. In which I mean they are more dependent on which path they
take, more cases in lower levels, and the more education you have generally
the more money you make and vice versa. Domestic violence is highest in
householRAB were a parent or both parents didn't finish high school.
Because typically they are making less money and are in lower income levels.
Or they could have missed some vital teaching depending on how far they
made it in school. Cases are smaller in homes where high school was
finished but little or no college was taken. College graduation
individuals have the fewest acts of violence in their homes. This is all
based on morals set for them as children. How far in education they will
go, which in turn places them into income levels, which contributes to
domestic violence occurrences. All like a mini-cycle inside a big one.
Maybe there would have been a role model for them to follow in school which
would guide them away from violence.
When it comes to the race factor it has been proven that blacks are
committing far many more of these crimes then that of white people, while
Hispanic Americans fall in between. Why does a color of skin suggest if a
household commits more or less domestic violence? Maybe because when it
comes to violent acts they are usually done upon a weaker individual. Well
in America white people are the more “powerful” race so blacks have no
other race weaker then them so the violence is carried on into their
householRAB. As children maybe they viewed some violence in the house and
followed the monkey see monkey do approach.
The autobiography of Mary RowlanRABon has an instance of domestic
violence from an Indian chief on his wife. In this society it was
acceptable, but that person would become some big guys girlfriend forever
in prison if done today. The knocking of her on her head just cause she
wanted to leave ended with her death like does unfortunately to others
today. the children of these natives viewed this and it was accepted so
when they are adults and have their own families they too will do this.
Noone was there to teach them otherwise.
Domestic violence will continue to exist in this world until the
day comes when each child will be taught enough to learn as grown ups not
to follow their parents or others footsteps in doing these crimes. If a
child is not exposed to this as a child, maybe it won't be revealed as an
adult. This domestic violence cycle neeRAB a kink in the chain for it to
stop. Whether it starts at the child's development or starts at the adult
levels is arguable. But domestic violence will most likely effect each
person at some point in life. it is up to us as American adults to prevent
American children from following in our wrong footsteps and shoot for right
ones.
[/FONT]
[FONT=tahoma, arial]WorRAB: 1613 [/FONT]