HerHuggyBunny
New member
For some girls and women, first sex hurts a lot (your hymen has no nerve endings and the pain is from unfamiliar stetching of vaginal muscles and tissues)... for others, it hurts only a little... for still others, it doesn't hurt at all. Same with bleeding... and there's no way to really know which it's going to be for you until it happens.
You're ready for sex as soon as you want to do it *and* are comfortable and happy with the following... and if you're not comfortable with *all* of it, you're probably not ready, no matter what age you are:
First... really be *sure* you wanna "do it" with the guy you've chosen. Chances are that when you "lose it" in true love, you'll be ready... and maybe you'll have already learned a few things beforehand... like the following.
You're a virgin, and your first full-on sex should be with someone you're really gonna want to *be* that intimate with for a while, and I don't just mean the physical intimacy of openly sharing your bodies and their reactions without shame... because there's a lot of mental and emotional stuff that comes with the hormones and hangups that fill the sexual territory between partners. You'll be MUCH better and happier for choosing such a person, even if that "while" only turns out to be a few weeks... trust me on this point, OK?
First-timing can be pretty disappointing for girls, not just because it's often painful (at least at first), but also because nervousness and awkwardness for both of you can make it very difficult for *you* to concentrate on your own pleasure. You don't have to worry too much about *his* pleasure: except for some possible emotional stuff, he's going to enjoy it a *lot* - even his first time. Young men are lucky that way, sure, but it's also a very rare man indeed (but not at all a rare woman) who can have several orgasms in less than half an hour.
Advice? Tips? Good things to plan for and think about?
Make sure you have lots of total privacy for quite a long time (three hours or more is a good idea) because not only might there be some uncomfortable, embarrassing or painful moments along the way, but there's more to the first time than just "doing it", and you'll have a lot of stuff to talk about afterwards - you do *not* want any of this to be interrupted.
When it comes to intercourse, tell your guy that *you* will be the one to say "stop" if anything's wrong (like pain, or even if you just chicken out) and that it's up to him to remember that when you tell him "stop".
If it should happen that your first time *will* be painful, bracing yourself against pain will only make it worse. RELAX... as he enters you, try pushing just a little bit as if you're trying to pee - this will relax your pelvic muscles and *greatly* diminish any discomfort or pain.
Don't even *try* unless you're very turned on and very slippery... a couple of orgasms first by masturbating/oral (*before* intercourse!) will also help your vagina to be more relaxed, stretchier and more insistent on having something inside - and if you don't get very wet no matter how horny you are, have some water-based lube (KY, Astroglide, Wet or similar) handy and no matter what, go SLOW until you're comfortable.
That lube will also help prevent breakage of the condom. Yes, the condom. There's a name for people who rely on "pulling out" as a method of avoiding pregnancy: "parents"... or sometimes "parents with STDs".
Any pain you may feel will go away in a few minutes to a couple of days (sometimes there's a little bruising), and after it's over with, each time will be *much* better if you stick to everything above.
Oral sex is also fine any time at all for either person, at least if both of them are comfortable with it and enjoy it. Doing it until the person receiving has an orgasm is nicest, but that isn't necessary unless you both want it.
Source(s):
I'm a guy, and I'm almost 50 years old, but I would have benefited hugely from most of this advice myself the first time *I* had sex - at age 13. No regrets, but I know now that we both would have fared a lot better if we'd thought about these things even for a few days.
Since then, I've raised 4 kids who've grown up to be fairly responsible and (more important) sexually healthy people. I'd *like* to think that their mothers and I were the ones who helped them to become that way.
You're ready for sex as soon as you want to do it *and* are comfortable and happy with the following... and if you're not comfortable with *all* of it, you're probably not ready, no matter what age you are:
First... really be *sure* you wanna "do it" with the guy you've chosen. Chances are that when you "lose it" in true love, you'll be ready... and maybe you'll have already learned a few things beforehand... like the following.
You're a virgin, and your first full-on sex should be with someone you're really gonna want to *be* that intimate with for a while, and I don't just mean the physical intimacy of openly sharing your bodies and their reactions without shame... because there's a lot of mental and emotional stuff that comes with the hormones and hangups that fill the sexual territory between partners. You'll be MUCH better and happier for choosing such a person, even if that "while" only turns out to be a few weeks... trust me on this point, OK?
First-timing can be pretty disappointing for girls, not just because it's often painful (at least at first), but also because nervousness and awkwardness for both of you can make it very difficult for *you* to concentrate on your own pleasure. You don't have to worry too much about *his* pleasure: except for some possible emotional stuff, he's going to enjoy it a *lot* - even his first time. Young men are lucky that way, sure, but it's also a very rare man indeed (but not at all a rare woman) who can have several orgasms in less than half an hour.
Advice? Tips? Good things to plan for and think about?
Make sure you have lots of total privacy for quite a long time (three hours or more is a good idea) because not only might there be some uncomfortable, embarrassing or painful moments along the way, but there's more to the first time than just "doing it", and you'll have a lot of stuff to talk about afterwards - you do *not* want any of this to be interrupted.
When it comes to intercourse, tell your guy that *you* will be the one to say "stop" if anything's wrong (like pain, or even if you just chicken out) and that it's up to him to remember that when you tell him "stop".
If it should happen that your first time *will* be painful, bracing yourself against pain will only make it worse. RELAX... as he enters you, try pushing just a little bit as if you're trying to pee - this will relax your pelvic muscles and *greatly* diminish any discomfort or pain.
Don't even *try* unless you're very turned on and very slippery... a couple of orgasms first by masturbating/oral (*before* intercourse!) will also help your vagina to be more relaxed, stretchier and more insistent on having something inside - and if you don't get very wet no matter how horny you are, have some water-based lube (KY, Astroglide, Wet or similar) handy and no matter what, go SLOW until you're comfortable.
That lube will also help prevent breakage of the condom. Yes, the condom. There's a name for people who rely on "pulling out" as a method of avoiding pregnancy: "parents"... or sometimes "parents with STDs".
Any pain you may feel will go away in a few minutes to a couple of days (sometimes there's a little bruising), and after it's over with, each time will be *much* better if you stick to everything above.
Oral sex is also fine any time at all for either person, at least if both of them are comfortable with it and enjoy it. Doing it until the person receiving has an orgasm is nicest, but that isn't necessary unless you both want it.
Source(s):
I'm a guy, and I'm almost 50 years old, but I would have benefited hugely from most of this advice myself the first time *I* had sex - at age 13. No regrets, but I know now that we both would have fared a lot better if we'd thought about these things even for a few days.
Since then, I've raised 4 kids who've grown up to be fairly responsible and (more important) sexually healthy people. I'd *like* to think that their mothers and I were the ones who helped them to become that way.