Does this sound OK? For my opening paragraph?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lulu B
  • Start date Start date
L

Lulu B

Guest
When people nowadays say Holocaust you immediately think of Germany in 1945, but a Holocaust is “A great or complete devastation or destruction” in general and the Shoah was a devastation and destruction. This Essay is about The Holocaust is a very exciting subject to learn about as we’ve heard about it, but never encountered it. We are both very keen to learn about The Holocaust because we will learn about the historical event during the Second World War that changed the lives of many. This project will explain why.


PLEASE GIVE ME ADIVCE!!!!!!
 
its kinda all over the place. watch your capitilizations and as a rule of thumb dont use pronouns (you, we, they and I). dont say.. in this essay..... cuz its kinda obvious that you;ll be wriing about it here is a better way to state it

When people nowadays say Holocaust ONE immediately thinkS of Germany in 1945, but a Holocaust is “A great or complete devastation or destruction” (BUT IN SOURCE) and the Shoah HAD devastation and destruction. The Holocaust is a very INTERESTING subject to learn about as we’ve LEARNED about it, but never encountered it. We are very keen to learn about The Holocaust because IT GIVES THE OPPERTUNITY TO LEARN about A historical event during the Second World War that changed the lives of many.
 
Back
Top