does this poem sound good enough?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jamie. L
  • Start date Start date
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Jamie. L

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for english class me and my friend had to write a poem about someone that ment alot to us. we did it about each other, is it okay or should i try to write another one? (no one else but the teacher will see the poem =))


i have to watch it all fall down
my emotions are strangled i begin to drown
its like i just got kicked in the gut
i close my eye and snap my mouth shut,
but then i feel a hand squeeze my arm
i suddenly inhail im safe from harm
You looked at me your eyes red and wet,
You whispered in my ear please don’t go yet.
I didn’t know what to say I couldn’t decide
My face was a mess I wanted to hide
You grabbed my hand and put it to your chest
My eye lids got heavy I wanted to rest
NO you yell grabbing my shoulder
A chill went through my body the room just got colder
my life, pain , and emotions double,
but your always there for my troubles,
your soul is full of nothing but light
your mind is wonderful, creative, and bright.
You cheer me up when im down
your joy and laughter seems to spread around.
i am dark and always hidden
but you make me feel like i fit in
A smile creeps across my face
You hold me tight in a warm embrace
Its okay now your with me
Make it stop , I hear myself plea
My ears are ringing I look in your eyes
I suck up my tears and stop the crys
Theres a moment were I stop and goes quiet
Even though everything in my head feels like a riot
Live for right now don’t worry about the next days
It may feel dark now but the sun will surely raise
Dance while you can still move
Learn as much as you can and still improve
Be happy right now and smile because you can
Live you life without a plan
 
OMIGOSH! ;') I'm crying that was so fricking amazing!!!!!!!!!! u have a calling missy!
 
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