Does this look like the correct format for a telegram (for my 1940s novel)?

badgley

New member
For my novel, set in 1940s.

1939 DEC 28 AM 10 55
DAPHNE CALLOWAY,
HELENVILLE WIS.

WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU PARENTS MR. & MRS. CALLOWAY CONFIRMED DEAD IN EARTHQUAKE ERZINCAN EASTERN TURKEY STOP. AS SOLE PROPRIETOR OF ESTATE IN HERTFORDSHIRE ENGLAND FUNERALS AND DIVISIONS OF PROPERTY WILL BE LEFT IN YOUR CARE STOP. LETTER FOLLOWS
H. DEERING
HEAD OF DAMAGE CONTROL


WHAT can i change to make it more telegram-like of the time period?
thanks in advance!
 
Back
Top