does this blurb for my story sound good?

O

OuranHostClubAddict

New member
I'm a 7th grader, so im not good im punctuation.

Jasmine Gage was a normal girl, until the moment she was going to move. She see's ghost everywhere! Jasmine shrugged it off thinking it was pranksters, but can her opinion change when she founds out shes going to school with a bunch of supernaturals! Can jasmine face the fact that she sees ghost and shes a necromancer, and that she might be in danger?
 
Wow this needs alot of editing, I'll get you started though:

"Jasmine Gage was a normal girl, until the moment she was going to move. She see's ghost everywhere! Jasmine shrugged it off thinking it was pranksters, but can her opinion change when she founds out shes going to school with a bunch of supernaturals!"

Should be

Jasmine Gage was a normal girl until she moved to a new neighborhood. It was then that she began seeing ghosts. At first she shrugged these episodes off, telling herself that they were just pranks. Later on, however, she found out she was actually going to a school with ghosts!

blahblahblah, pick up where I left off, and make sure you watch your tenses and what not.

Good Luck
 
Being a 7th grader is no excuse for having poor punctuation, sorry about that.
It sounds kind of boring, kind of like you're forcing it sound intense or spooky or something but it's not working. Work more on your sentence structure, punctuation, grammar & vocabulary and then maybe it'll sound better.
 
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