A
AliceAshley.
Guest
We have to write short stories in english, and this is what ive written so far. I was wondering if you could read it and tell me if its interesting, and also if you want to find out the ending. Also, if you have any criticism (please just let it be constructive) i would appreciate it muchly. 
P.S. Everytime you see this '||' , it means the next bit is in italics. Then this '|||' means its not italics anymore. The bits in italics is what is really happening, and the rest are her flashbacks, and memories, if you didnt get that from the text.
Here is the story.
He wasn’t anything like she expected, || she remembered as she heard a door close. The memories she had attempted at burying had come loose, and were attacking her at full force. She had not the energy to ignore them. She could hear people speaking to each other, but the only thing she gathered from her surroundings before the flashbacks her subconscious was throwing at her took hold, was that something was horribly wrong. |||
She couldn’t make out his features at all, but that was not surprising as it was pitch black. ‘Where is Emma?’’ was all she could think. She gasped, as the cold, dark eyes this unknown man was cursed with bore into her clammy skin, right through to her soul. She automatically knew why he was here. Her father was a successful judge, who, not even two weeks ago, had sentenced one of the most well known mafia bosses brother to death. She had over heard her father talking with her mother a few days before. He had said something about how this man had sent him a death threat, not towards him, but his daughters. This man was merciless. If he threatened to kill, he would kill. Her father had tripled his daughters security, but obviously that wasn’t enough. A feeling of blind terror washed over her as she saw the gun the man was in possession of. Where was Emma? Where was Emma?
|| She could sense someone next to her. It gave her hope. She was not alone in this struggle against her own mind.|||
She heard a whimper. Emma. The terror was pushed out of the way by fury. How dare this man come and threaten her and her sister? She would not let him harm her sister. She would not. She raised her chin in defiance, daring him to proceed with his carefully laid out plan. She saw his reaction. Surprise. Good, she thought, he knows I won’t go down without a fight. All fear gone now, she lunged for the gun. He easily moved out of the way, and she heard him laugh. It was not a pleasant sound. He pulled the gun up and aimed. She dropped and rolled to the left. Years of self defense classes were paying off. She spun around and kicked his leg before he had time to react, as it was rather obvious he was not expecting to meet such skill from a petite 20 year old. He bounced back easily, and knocked her over the head with the gun. Before she slipped into unconsciousness, she heard someone scream.
|| There was pain in her chest. It burned like it was on fire. Someone was crying. She wanted to comfort them, but the memories were drowning her again. |||
She woke up on an ice cold bitumen ground. Disoriented and scared, she tried standing up. She had to find Emma. Where did the man go? How long was she out for? Where were the guards that were supposed to be guarding her and her sister? The ones her father had hired for this exact reason. The world had just stopped spinning when the truth hit her like a ton of bricks. Her sister, her precious baby sister, was alone, with an assassin hunting her. The ground rushed up to meet her.
|| As her mind took a rest from throwing her memories in her face, she grabbed the opportunity to find out where she was. She dared not open her eyes, for fear of seeing what was causing the horrible pain in her chest, but she used her other senses to evaluate her surroundings. It smelled clean, but there was a sharp scent of cologne in the air. That triggered something, something happy. She just couldn’t figure out what it was. The memories were returning. She panicked. Just before she slipped back under, she heard a welcome voice. ‘I love you’ it said. I love you too, she wanted to cry. But her dreams were too overwhelming. |||
Hope you enjoyed.
Thankyou so much,
P.S. Everytime you see this '||' , it means the next bit is in italics. Then this '|||' means its not italics anymore. The bits in italics is what is really happening, and the rest are her flashbacks, and memories, if you didnt get that from the text.
Here is the story.
He wasn’t anything like she expected, || she remembered as she heard a door close. The memories she had attempted at burying had come loose, and were attacking her at full force. She had not the energy to ignore them. She could hear people speaking to each other, but the only thing she gathered from her surroundings before the flashbacks her subconscious was throwing at her took hold, was that something was horribly wrong. |||
She couldn’t make out his features at all, but that was not surprising as it was pitch black. ‘Where is Emma?’’ was all she could think. She gasped, as the cold, dark eyes this unknown man was cursed with bore into her clammy skin, right through to her soul. She automatically knew why he was here. Her father was a successful judge, who, not even two weeks ago, had sentenced one of the most well known mafia bosses brother to death. She had over heard her father talking with her mother a few days before. He had said something about how this man had sent him a death threat, not towards him, but his daughters. This man was merciless. If he threatened to kill, he would kill. Her father had tripled his daughters security, but obviously that wasn’t enough. A feeling of blind terror washed over her as she saw the gun the man was in possession of. Where was Emma? Where was Emma?
|| She could sense someone next to her. It gave her hope. She was not alone in this struggle against her own mind.|||
She heard a whimper. Emma. The terror was pushed out of the way by fury. How dare this man come and threaten her and her sister? She would not let him harm her sister. She would not. She raised her chin in defiance, daring him to proceed with his carefully laid out plan. She saw his reaction. Surprise. Good, she thought, he knows I won’t go down without a fight. All fear gone now, she lunged for the gun. He easily moved out of the way, and she heard him laugh. It was not a pleasant sound. He pulled the gun up and aimed. She dropped and rolled to the left. Years of self defense classes were paying off. She spun around and kicked his leg before he had time to react, as it was rather obvious he was not expecting to meet such skill from a petite 20 year old. He bounced back easily, and knocked her over the head with the gun. Before she slipped into unconsciousness, she heard someone scream.
|| There was pain in her chest. It burned like it was on fire. Someone was crying. She wanted to comfort them, but the memories were drowning her again. |||
She woke up on an ice cold bitumen ground. Disoriented and scared, she tried standing up. She had to find Emma. Where did the man go? How long was she out for? Where were the guards that were supposed to be guarding her and her sister? The ones her father had hired for this exact reason. The world had just stopped spinning when the truth hit her like a ton of bricks. Her sister, her precious baby sister, was alone, with an assassin hunting her. The ground rushed up to meet her.
|| As her mind took a rest from throwing her memories in her face, she grabbed the opportunity to find out where she was. She dared not open her eyes, for fear of seeing what was causing the horrible pain in her chest, but she used her other senses to evaluate her surroundings. It smelled clean, but there was a sharp scent of cologne in the air. That triggered something, something happy. She just couldn’t figure out what it was. The memories were returning. She panicked. Just before she slipped back under, she heard a welcome voice. ‘I love you’ it said. I love you too, she wanted to cry. But her dreams were too overwhelming. |||
Hope you enjoyed.
Thankyou so much,
U FAIL... nah just kiddin