started when i was 8- my dad died, then all of his family just stopped talking to us, because they had 'no ties' with us apparently..
then onto high school, 2 years of being bullied and ridiculed over my appearance,then into my exams,
all my friends got into sex, and alcohol, all had boyfriends,i was the odd one out, never included me in anything.
Also i couldn't/still can't leave the house to do anything because i have body dysmorphia, a condition where i will perform self plastic surgery to decrease my 'defects', avoid reflections of spoons, windows, mirrors to avoid seeing my appearance.. it's gotten better, but i'm still not 'normal'.
and then to top it all off, most of my family has died,or are dieing, as well as my two best friends moving away and not really bothering with me
sorry for my rant, but i'm sick of life being about who's the prettiest,cleverest, funniest, richest,
after several suicide attempts ending in hospital, i promised my mum i'd try and see the positive, a year and a half later, my life has gotten gradually worse. I've always been living like "well maybe tomorrow will be better" but it never is.
it would be such a relief to just die, seriously. i've had 9 years of constant stress and i've had enough.
so my question is.. when will it get better? and. when is enough, enough?
then onto high school, 2 years of being bullied and ridiculed over my appearance,then into my exams,
all my friends got into sex, and alcohol, all had boyfriends,i was the odd one out, never included me in anything.
Also i couldn't/still can't leave the house to do anything because i have body dysmorphia, a condition where i will perform self plastic surgery to decrease my 'defects', avoid reflections of spoons, windows, mirrors to avoid seeing my appearance.. it's gotten better, but i'm still not 'normal'.
and then to top it all off, most of my family has died,or are dieing, as well as my two best friends moving away and not really bothering with me
sorry for my rant, but i'm sick of life being about who's the prettiest,cleverest, funniest, richest,
after several suicide attempts ending in hospital, i promised my mum i'd try and see the positive, a year and a half later, my life has gotten gradually worse. I've always been living like "well maybe tomorrow will be better" but it never is.
it would be such a relief to just die, seriously. i've had 9 years of constant stress and i've had enough.
so my question is.. when will it get better? and. when is enough, enough?