I am currently doing an article about how few supporters attend matches and competitions that my school partakes in and i am wondering if the little support really has an impact of the outcome of a competition or game. I am very new at this and am unsure of how to write one. Thus I am wondering if this paragraph I have written is suitable and if it is gramatically correct.
" Imagine waking onto the competition grounds of a crucial match only to be overwhelmed with the deafening cheers of your opponent’s supporters that have long drowned out the measly cries of your own. This common occurrence at competitions that the school partakes in has left students demoralised and unhappy with some even suggesting that the school provide more transport for their supporters."
Any corrections or suggestion would be greatly appreciated. Ideas about how i should proceed will also be great.
" Imagine waking onto the competition grounds of a crucial match only to be overwhelmed with the deafening cheers of your opponent’s supporters that have long drowned out the measly cries of your own. This common occurrence at competitions that the school partakes in has left students demoralised and unhappy with some even suggesting that the school provide more transport for their supporters."
Any corrections or suggestion would be greatly appreciated. Ideas about how i should proceed will also be great.