B
bookheart64
Guest
Why did Stevie Wonder buy a poppy seed bagel at the bakery?
So he would have something to read on the way home!
So he would have something to read on the way home!
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killa_1894
New member
if you have a really good joke could you please post it. i haven't heard a good one in a whill. thanx
A lawyer boarded a plane to go home for the weekend. He found his seat by a very tired lady who was trying to get some rest. When they were no more than ten minutes into the flight he asked her if she would play a game that he made up and was extremely eager to play. She said that she was too tired to play, but he continued asking and even started to explain the rules.
"To start off" he said, "I’ll ask you a question. If you get it right, you get five dollars, and if you get it wrong, I get five dollars. Then we'll switch turns"
But she again said she was just too tired. So he continued, this time with higher stakes,
"Ok fine, if you get a question wrong, you still only have to pay five dollars, but if I get one wrong, I have to pay five HUNDRED dollars."
So reluctantly she agreed, and he started his question,
"How far is it from the sun to the earth?"
Without much thought at all she pulled out her purse and gave him five dollars. Then she began her question,
"What goes up a hill with three red legs, and comes down with four green ones?"
With that he was completely stumped, so he called up his good friends, got out his laptop and started IM-ing everyone who was on, went to all the joke websites he knew, and kept this routine up for two hours. He then woke the lady up, who had gone to sleep while he was searching, and told her,
"I have absolutely no idea what the answer is, so...here's the five hundred dollars I owe you . . . . But just out of curiosity, what was the answer?"
Without a reply, she opened her purse and gave him five dollars
"To start off" he said, "I’ll ask you a question. If you get it right, you get five dollars, and if you get it wrong, I get five dollars. Then we'll switch turns"
But she again said she was just too tired. So he continued, this time with higher stakes,
"Ok fine, if you get a question wrong, you still only have to pay five dollars, but if I get one wrong, I have to pay five HUNDRED dollars."
So reluctantly she agreed, and he started his question,
"How far is it from the sun to the earth?"
Without much thought at all she pulled out her purse and gave him five dollars. Then she began her question,
"What goes up a hill with three red legs, and comes down with four green ones?"
With that he was completely stumped, so he called up his good friends, got out his laptop and started IM-ing everyone who was on, went to all the joke websites he knew, and kept this routine up for two hours. He then woke the lady up, who had gone to sleep while he was searching, and told her,
"I have absolutely no idea what the answer is, so...here's the five hundred dollars I owe you . . . . But just out of curiosity, what was the answer?"
Without a reply, she opened her purse and gave him five dollars
So i recently have had a change in career plans, and have been jumping back and forth between jobs... but i stuck with one for awhile... I was the greeter at Wal Mart...
Well, one day a middle-aged lady walks in with her 2 kids (and honestly, she wasnt the prettiest face i've seen)... She was yelling and screaming at them, right in front of everyone... And i "tried" to constrain myself...
"Good morning Ma'am... are those two kids of urs twins?...."
"Its 1 o'clock in the afternoon retard!... And are you blind AND stupid!?... One is 7 and the other is 9!..."
"Oh... I'm sorry... i just found it hard to believe you could get laid twice..."
Needless to say i was fired... my supervisor said i had self-control issues... ehhh...
Well, one day a middle-aged lady walks in with her 2 kids (and honestly, she wasnt the prettiest face i've seen)... She was yelling and screaming at them, right in front of everyone... And i "tried" to constrain myself...
"Good morning Ma'am... are those two kids of urs twins?...."
"Its 1 o'clock in the afternoon retard!... And are you blind AND stupid!?... One is 7 and the other is 9!..."
"Oh... I'm sorry... i just found it hard to believe you could get laid twice..."
Needless to say i was fired... my supervisor said i had self-control issues... ehhh...